Ngubani ongumbonisi onzima ukuyiqonda, kunzima ukufunda indlela yokugcina umntu kwingxaki enokuthi utyhefu ubukho bakhe. Umntu onjalo akaqondi kakuhle intlungu, ubanda, ukukhathala, kunye nomnqweno wabanye ukumnceda, uguquka nabo.
Kuthetha ntoni i-masochist?
I-masochist ngumntu olungele ukuhlupheka kunye nokuthotywa. Ufumana ukuzonwabisa okuphambene nokubuhlungu. Oku akusiyo intlungu yomzimba, kodwa yengqondo. Abantu abaye baxhomekeka kubundlobongela ngabantu abadala, abaneemfuno kunye neminqweno yabo ephazamisekile ukususela ebuntwaneni, basengozini kwi-masochism. Ngenxa yoko, xa bekhulile bayayeka ukuziqonda kunye nokuhlonipha.
Siyakwazi ukubala ezi zinto zilandelayo zolu hlobo lwe-masochist:
- akayithobeli imeko yakhe;
- akakwazi ukuphelisa ukukhathazeka kwakhe;
- usebenza kwinqanaba lokugqibela, uzikhupha;
- ngaphandle masochist ngaphandle kunye nokuzola;
- uhamba ngokujonga.
Emoyeni wakhe othukutheleyo uyabaxhaphaza abanye, ubahlasele ngenxa yokungabi namalungelo nokungafuni ukuqonda "ngaphandle kwamagama." Intukuthelo isebenza njengeqabane lakhe elingunaphakade, elibonakalayo kumntu wonke. Ukuhlalutya u-masochism kwingqondo, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba abantu abanjalo akufanele baphambuke, kufuneka bafundiswe ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo, qaphela kwaye baqonde iimfuno zabo, iiminqweno.
Uthini umahluko phakathi kokudabuka kunye ne-masochism?
UbuSadism ngumkhwa wobudlova ukuze uzonwabele abanye. Ekuqaleni, lo mboniso wabonakaliswa kuphela kwisigxina sezesondo zobomi bomntu, kodwa namhlanje sele sisasazeke kakhulu, esichaphazela imeko eziqhelekileyo kwiimeko zemihla ngemihla. Ngoko, umzekelo, ubundlobongela buya kuba yingqondo, ngelixa i-sadist iyanandipha, ibangela ukukhathazeka kumntu.
Ngokungafani nokudabuka, i-masochism ijolise ekubangela ubundlobongela, kodwa kwindawo engaziwayo loo mqondo ayinakuhlukaniswa. I-sadist ayitholi kuphela ukwaneliswa kwindlobongela yento, kodwa nakubantu ababa yilo nto. Ngokufanayo, i-masochist, ngokubandezeleka kwakhe, ifuna ukuhlwaya intloni, ibangela umva wecala. I-sadist kunye ne-masochist inokudibanisa ukuzonwabisa kunye nokubandezeleka. Into ebonakalayo eyahlukileyo phakathi komnye:
- I-sadism ijoliswe kuyo into;
- I-masochism ijoliswe kulo mbandela.
Kufana namacala amabini enye yemali enye. Ngaphezu koko, i-masochism iyakwazi ukuguqula ibe yintlungu. Abantu abanjalo abazive benetyala kwaye isenzo ngasinye siyafaneleka. Ukunyamekela okunyanisekileyo, umntu oqinileyo uya kufuna ukuzinyameka ngokukhawuleza - ukuchithwa kwe-masochism. Emva kobundlobongela obunobundlobongela, i-masochist ephilileyo iya kuthobela kwaye iyathule, qala ukucela ukuxolelwa ngenxa yezenzo zakhe.
Iintlobo ze-masochism
Ekubeni i-masochism ijoliswe ekufumaneni ukuzonwabisa ngenxa yokubandezeleka, i-masochist idinga ubukho bokuba abanye bebandezelekile, ngoko ke uyazama ukubonisa ukuthotywa kwakhe kunokwenzeka kwabanye. Ubuthakathaka ubudlelwane nabanye abantu bubonakala ngokuthotywa, ityala, nentlungu. I-masochist izama ukuphumelela ukuvunywa ngentshiseko, izama ukusondelana nabantu.
Psychological masochism
Njengoko inkolelo kaFrud ibonisa, intschism yengqondo isekelwe kwisifo sengqondo . Kukho izizathu zengqondo ezilandelayo ze-masochism:
- iimfuno ezingagqibekanga;
- ukunakekelwa kakubi ngabazali, okanye ukungabikho kwakhe ngokupheleleyo;
- ezincinci;
- isijeziso esinobushushu sabantwana;
- ukwesaba ukushiywa.
Xa bekhulile, i-masochist ifuna uhlobo lothando abalunyanzelwe ngalo njengomntwana. Kodwa ukuphazamiseka kwezi meko kukuba kubo, uthando luyindlela abazali abaziphatha ngayo kubo. Ngako oko, i-masochist ayifumananga into eyenziwa ngabantu abasondeleyo. I-psychistist masochist ifuna ukuvusa umva wecala, ukugweba iqabane lakhe ukubonakalisa ukunyaniseka.
Ubulili be-masochism
Ama-masochist ngokobulili afuna ukuzonwabisa ngokubandezeleka. Bathanda ukubetha nokuxhatshazwa. Iimbangela ze-malachism yezesondo zi:
- ugulo olubi kunye nentlungu eninzi;
- udlame ngokwesondo;
- ubudlelwane obuxhatshazwayo nabazali.
Ukuba umntwana wayenesihlwayo esibuhlungu esisemncinci ukususela kwiminyaka yobudala, ngokungaqondakaliyo kukhokelela ekuxhomekeke kwinqanaba elithile lokuxhomekeke kubo. Emva koko, kuzaliswa ngobudlelwane bezesondo . Ngelo xesha, ubulili be-masochists - abukho nje ukubangela ubuhlungu benyama, kodwa ukuxhomekeka komnye umntu, ukuziva ungenakuxhaswa phantsi kolawulo olubi lobuqabane.
Ukuziphatha okungabonakaliyo
Isiseko sokuziphatha kwe-masochism yintliziyo yecala, isidingo esingaziwayo sokujeziswa. Indlela yokuziphatha i-masochist inokuhlala ixinezelekile, inokubangela ukubandezeleka kweengozi, ukunyuka kwemali, ubudlelwane obubi. Izizathu zokubonakala kweso ngxaki zikhula ukusuka ebuntwaneni ngenxa yokuba:
- ukuxiliswa kabuhlungu kwisifuba;
- sohlwaywa ngo ku
- ukufundisa kwindlu yangasese;
- ukwahlula kwangaphambili;
- ukunyanzela, igunya labazali.
I-masochism engokomzwelo
I-masochist yemvakalelo inomdla obuthathaka, obonakaliswa ngokuziphatha okuqhelekileyo, ukuzilungisa, ukuzithethelela. Loo mntu akafuni ukulungisa ingxaki yakhe, inkqubo ibalulekile kuye. Yaye ukuba umntu ezama ukumnceda, ngenxa yoko, yena ngokwakhe unokucaphukisa aze athukuthele. I-masochism engokomzwelo kubasetyhini ibonakala:
- ngokuzigxeka rhoqo;
- ukusetyenziswa kakubi kotywala kunye neziyobisi;
- kwiingxabano eziqhubekayo kungekho sizathu esithile.
I-masochism yengqondo
Ekuqaliseni indawo yendoda kwenkcubeko, ama-psychoanalyst yaseMerika aqaphele ingxaki ebalulekileyo efuna ukunyamekela ngengqondo-masochism yengqondo. Ngokomzekelo, kwintsimi yaseYurophu, i-masochism yabesifazane iqhelekile. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuhlukana kwentlalo phakathi kwesini. UbuMasoki buvela kwi-sadism, kwaye ukuqhubeka kwayo.
Oku akusiyo i-masochism yesondo. Le ngcamango iguqulelwe kuphela ngekhulu lokugqibela. Kwamawaka eminyaka ngaphambili, kwakukho uxhulumaniso olucacileyo phakathi kokomoya kunye ne-masochism yemiphakathi eminingi. Abadala babecinga ukuba i-masochism ibe yintliziyo, ngokomoya nangokomzimba. Wayeyinyanzelo yobunyaniso, udibaniso lomphefumlo kwimeko yokubandezeleka, eyayivame ukubonakaliswa kwiimonasteri nakwiicawa.
Kutheni abantu beba-masochist?
Iimbangela ze-masochism zidibaniswa ngokungenakuqhathaniswa neengqondo. Ngokuqhelekileyo le ngcamango ibhekwa njengesibuko sombukiso. Nangona akukho mntu unokubonakalisa ubunjani obubumbene bokubonakala kweso ngxaki. Ezi zizathu ezilandelayo ze-masochism ziyaqatshelwa:
- Imvelaphi yezofuzo.
- Isizathu somoya.
- Uloyiko lonwabo okanye ukuhlaselwa.
Ukuze uqonde ukuba ngubani umsekhenkethi, kufuneka ukhangele izizathu zokuvela kwayo. Esi sisiphumo sombambano lwangaphakathi lomntu. Ukuba ukuphambuka okunjalo akuphazamisi ukuphuhliswa komntu siqu, ngoko kunokuthiwa yinto evamile. Kodwa xa umntu eziva engonwabi, ehlala ekhubekile kwaye evakalelwa yintlonelo kuye, ufuna ukuzilimaza, ukufumana ulonwabo oluninzi kuwo, kubalulekile ukuba angayi kumntu onjalo, kodwa ukumbonelela ngoncedo lwengqondo.
Unokunceda njani umask
Umntu obhekene ne-masochism akasoze avume ingxaki yakhe, ungalokothi ubuze ukuba ngubani onobu masochist. Uya kwenza konke ngokwakhe, kwanokuba akukho mntu wabuza. Ngamanye amazwi, akayi kushiya ithuba elincinane lokumnika uncedo, kodwa ngoko uya kubonisa ukucaphuka kwakhe. Loo mntu usoloko engonwabanga into ethile, engonwabileyo. Yonke loo ngqumbo yangaphakathi iyonakalisa umntu ngaphakathi.
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokunceda umhlobo wakho, lungiselela ukuchasana okunokwenzeka kwaye ufumane indlela yokunxibelelana ne-masochist. Buyela kuye ulwazi malunga nobomi, uvuyo, ukulinganisela ngaphakathi, ukuba uyamkela imbeko ehloniphekileyo neyentliziyo, ayiyi kuhlulwa. Kufuneka ufunde ukuphawula kunye nokuphazamisa zonke izigulane zesigulane ngexesha. Kufuneka uxhase kwi-masochist umnqweno wobomi obonwabileyo novuyo.
Uba njani u-masochist?
Ukuze ufunde indlela yokuba ngama-masochists, kufuneka ukhangele amaxesha apho umntu sele eqala ukwenza ifom. Ukuba ngabazali bomntwana bambonisa isohlwayo esinzima, ngokuqhelekileyo kuvela kubuhlungu, kule miqathango umntu uyakha indlela yokukhusela. Kancinci uqala ukucinga ukuba ukubonakaliswa kobuhlobo obunjalo kubazali kuye kungaphezu kokuthanda. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, umntwana uzama ukufumana intlungu leyo kunye nokuthotywa kwenjongo efanelekileyo.
Abazali, ngemfundo enobukhohlakeleyo, bazame ukuphula kunye nokuthobela intando yomntwana, ukukhulisa ukuthobela, ngokuthe rhoqo, ukuba umntwana enganyanzelwanga, uzive elahliwe, kwaye ukuba aqaphele, uqala ukuziphatha kakubi. Ukuhlala ixesha elide kwiimeko ezinjalo kubangela ukuvutha komsindo okungenamandla kumntu, apho kungekho ndlela yokuphuma. Amava anjalo engaqhelekanga okunyanzelwayo kunye nokubandezeleka kubangela ukuba kubekho indlela yokuzimela ngokuzenzekelayo.
Indlela yokulahla i-masochism?
Ubume beMasoki bubhekwa njengokwexhomekeke kwengqondo . Unyango lwe-masochism ludinga umntu okanye iqela le-psychotherapy. Akukho zonyango ezingasindisa ngokupheleleyo umntu kwingxaki, ziyakwazi ukuzincipha nje uxinzelelo, zithule. Ukuba uvakalelwa ukuthambekela kwe-masochistic ngaphakathi kwakho, okubonakaliswa ngogonyamelo oluqhelekileyo, ukuzithengisa, ukungazithobeli, umnqweno wokuzilimaza, uya kufuna uncedo lwabafundi beengqondo.
Ukuqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba ngubani ongu-sadist ne-masochist, kufuneka ukwazi ukuba yintoni abanye abantu abayifunayo, kodwa nawe. Kubomi bomntu wonke kubalulekile ukuba bangafihla iimvakalelo zabo, kodwa ukuba bavakalise, bavakalise. Ukuba uziva ucaphukile, uziva ubi, ubanda kwaye utyhafile, unganqikazi ukuthetha oku. Funda ukufumana uncedo kwabanye kwaye uqaphele iimfuno zakho. Oku kuya kunceda kakhulu ubomi bakho, buzalise.