Wonke umfazi ufuna ukuba neqabane elithandayo. Kodwa ngelishwa, kwenzeka ukuba indoda elumkileyo iphendule ibe yindoda yangempela yasekhaya. Abasetyhini abaninzi abaziqondi ukuba behlulekile ukuqwalasela le mfanelo eyingozi kwikhethiweyo. Kodwa ukugxininiswa ngakumbi ngumbuzo ongekho "apho amehlo ami aphilileyo", kwaye yintoni enokuyenza ukuba umntu ungumtyholi kunye nendawo yokuziphatha, indlela yokuhlala kunye naye, kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu, nokuba kubalulekile ukwenza.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba "intsapho yododa" ithetha?
Xa kuziwa kubadeleli kwintsapho, umyeni ubonakala enxilisayo obetha rhoqo umfazi wakhe. Kodwa intsingiselo yelizwi elithi "despot" lininzi kakhulu, umntu ongeyisebenzisi udlame lomzimba kubathandekayo bakhe angawela phantsi kwengcaciso enjalo. Ukuxeka kungaphinda kuboniswe ekuzalisekeni okunyanisekileyo kweminqweno yomnye umntu, ukuthotywa, ukuthintela rhoqo. Kuyinto engathandekiyo ukuba indoda ijika ibe ngumtyholi kwaye ingabi nxamnye kanye, ngokuqhelekileyo yonke into iqala ngeentsimbi ezingenasiphelo, zigqutywe ngokubonakalisa ukunyamekela. Ngoko ke, ukuqonda ukuba umntu onjalo akulula, ezi zilandelayo iziganeko kufuneka ziqaphele.
- Ukhohlakele-utshutshiso. Uhlala ehlambalaza, uthi uyenza into engalunganga. Kwaye xa uqala ukusebenza kwi-pointer yakhe, kukho izihlandlo zokukhetha i-nit, kwaye ngokusoloko ehlambalaza, uyaziphikisa.
- Ngokusoloko unyanzela ngokwakhe, echaza ukuba yonke into ikuyenzela yona, ithi iya kuba ngcono kuwe. Kodwa ngenxa yezizathu ezithile uzilibale ukubuza imbono yakho okanye, emva kokubuza, ayiyiva.
- Iyakuthintela ukuba usebenze ngokubanzi okanye kwintlangano ethile, kwaye zonke iingxoxo zawo zingancitshiswa kwigama elithi "Andifuni".
- Inzondelelo, kaninzi ayifanelekanga, ebizwa ngokuba "kuyo yonke insika."
- Ukuchasiswa ekusebenziseni izimonyo, ukuthengwa kwezinto ezintsha, ukulungelelwa kukuba umyeni wakho usele nawe kwaye ke akufanele ulungele umntu.
- Musa ukuvumela ukuthetha kunye nezihlobo, abahlobo kunye nabahlobo okanye ukhethe nabani na onokuba ngabahlobo, kunye nabo.
- Ubeka ingcamango yakhe, iimfuno, umzekelo othile wokuziphatha, kuba kuphela izenzo zakhe neminqweno enokwenene.
- Indoda yindoda enobukhohlakali kunye nomtyholi kwaye ayiyi kulwa nokuhlaselwa.
Izizathu ezenziwa ngumntu ukufeza intando yakhe, zinokuhluke kakhulu:
- isimo esiphantsi somfazi;
- kuxhomekeka kwindoda kumyeni;
- mfihlelo jikelele.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu abanexabiso eliphantsi kakhulu bazama ukuhlazisa abanye, bezama ukubonakalisa ukubaluleka kwabo ngale ndlela. Ngendlela, ibhinqa linokuthi libe yinto engxowankulu, imisele ukuthanda kwakhe, ngokuphindaphindiweyo abantwana kunomyeni wakhe. Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo i-despot kwintsapho ayiyena unina, kodwa uyise. Njengomphumo wokukhuliswa okunjalo, umntwana uya kukhula, athathe umgca wokuziphatha komnye wabazali okanye ukukhula kunye nenani elikhulu leengxaki kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi, oku kuhlawulelwa ukuhlaziswa kobuthathaka.
Indlela yokuziphatha nomntu ukuba ungumtyholi kunye neengcali?
Ukuba le nto ayilunganga, ke ukuziphatha komlawuli ochasayo kungalungiswa, kumnike ukukhuza. Kungenzeka ukuba uya kujonga ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha. Ngoko, njani ukujongana ne-despot?
- Ukuphendula ngokuzithemba ukukhethwa kwakhe kwe-nit, ungamvumeli umntu akuhlazise.
- Ukuba kukho abantwana, musa ukulibala ngabo. Zama ukuthetha nomyeni wakho ngabo.
- Ukuba uhlala ugxeka umyeni wakho ngendlela opheka ngayo kwaye wenze enye imisebenzi yasekhaya, uyeke ukwenza okuthile kuye. Makhe enze konke yena ngokwakhe, njengokuba uyakuthanda.
- Ngokuqhelekileyo abafazi abawela phantsi kolawulo lomntu osisigxina sasekhaya bacinga ukuba abafanelekanga. Ukukhusela oku, ukwandisa ukuzithemba kwakho, ukufumana iziphumo ezilungileyo,
nangona idibene nomnqamlezo. Ngoko ukwandisa isangqa sabantu abaya kukuhlonela, kwaye oku kuya kukunceda ukuba uqonde ukuba ufanelekile isimo sengqondo esihle kuwe. Ukuthetha rhoqo kunye nabahlobo abaxabisa uluvo lwakho. - Akuqhelekanga kwindlela yethu - isikhalazo kwisifo sengqondo seentsapho, mhlawumbi siya kukunceda ukujamelana neengxaki. Nangona, kuba umsebenzi opheleleyo ufuna ukuba khona kwendoda yakho.
Kwakhona kwenzeka ukuba akukho nto inokukunceda, uxinzelelo lwentshutshiso lwentsapho aluyeki, umyeni uyazigxotha ngezandla zakhe, uzihlakulela abantwana, kulo mzekelo akukho ndlela yokuphuma - kufuneka sihambe.