Kwiminyaka kangangenkulungwane kukholwa ukuba indoda kufuneka ibe namandla. Emva koko, kubangele ukuba abafazi bathande amadoda, kwaye wonke umntu ufuna ukubona umntu osondeleyo kuwe, ngoko unokuthembela kuye ngokupheleleyo, ukulibala zonke iintlungu kunye nokukhathazeka kwaye ukhululeke, uncike kwixhepha lomntu onokuthenjelwa nelinamandla.
Indoda enamandla yomeleleyo imiselwe, iyasebenza kwaye iqhubeka. Kuye unganesabi nantoni kwaye ube ngumfazi obuthathaka. Kwiminyaka emininzi, indoda ekhangelelene ngesondo efanelekileyo yenza ukuba abe nexanduva kubantwana kunye nabatshatileyo, isibindi ekuxazululeni iimeko ezinzima kunye nokusebenza.
Namhlanje, uninzi lwezibini ezitshatileyo zingabelana ngezidibaniso ezimbini:
- Ibhinqa elinamandla kunye nomntu onamandla. Kukho ukhetho olunqabile kakhulu, kuba abameleli besondo esomeleleyo bavame ukuphepha abo bafazi. Iinkokheli ezimbini aziyi kulwahlula intsimi ngokulinganayo kwaye iza kuhlala zikulwela ukuphakama. Kodwa kwimeko apho ibhinqa liza kuthi, nangona ngamanye amaxesha idlala indima ebuthathaka, umanyano unokuphumelela kakhulu;
- indoda enamandla kunye nomfazi obuthathaka. Ezi zibini zivumelana ngokubanzi. Ibhinqa elikhokelayo alithandi ukuba liholele, kwaye iqabane elichasene naloo nto, livakalelwa kukuba liyindoda enamandla kunabo bonke.
Enyanisweni, ubomi kunye namadoda anamandla akude nefu. Kwakhona banemiphumo embi apho umfazi kufuneka abeke khona, oko kubonakala kuthandana ngexesha lobudlelwane, kunokudidanisa ebomini kunye.
Ukungalungi kwamadoda anamandla
- Indoda eqinileyo ivakalelwa ukuba yintloko yentsapho kunye nomcebisi wakhe, ngoko umzamo wokuzijonga ngokwawo ujongwa njengento into umfazi engakholelwa kuye. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, umfazi ngokunyanisekileyo unqatshelwe ithuba lokusebenza, ukufunda, ukudibana neentombi, ukuzonwabisa ngaphandle komlingane.
- Kuye kwenzeka ukuba indoda ayiyikukhumbula ukuba iqabane lisebenza, kodwa ngelo xesha libeka phantsi ixabiso lomsebenzi wayo, licinga ukuba lo msebenzi awuyinto engaphezulu kweyona nto yokudlala umfazi ohluphekayo.
- Kwakhona kukho abagqibeleleyo-uhlobo oluthile lwamadoda anamandla. Uzama zonke iindlela ukuze enze umfazi wakhe abe ngumhle: unyanzelisa umfazi wakhe ukuba asebenze aze afunde kuphela apho, ngombono wakhe, ehloniphekile ukuba udibana nemigangatho yakhe, kwaye unokuziqhayisa phakathi koogxa kunye nabahlobo bakhe. Ibhinqa lihlukaniswe nehlabathi kunye neminqweno yalo. Uvakalelwa kukuba wayengumntwana, uxhomekeka ngokupheleleyo, kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu ezigulayo kunye noxinzelelo. Ukuhlushwa kwengqondo kunokuba negalelo ekuphuhlisweni kwezifo zinyani. Ukungabikho kwenkululeko kunye nokuzibonakalisa ngokwayo kubangela ukuba kwenzeke iintloko, ukudandatheka, ukunyamezela. Kuvela ukuba ibhinqa inika inkululeko yakhe ithuba lokuba buthathaka.
- Umgca wokuzithemba kunye noxanduva lomntu oqinileyo kukuba uyazikhethela yena ngokwakhe umfazi wakhe, yena kuphela owaziyo nendlela yokwenza ngokuchanekileyo, nokuphumeza umphumo oyifunayo, yonke into kufuneka ibe phantsi kolawulo, ngezinye izihlandlo iyancipha kwaye ingena ukuxolisa. Ibhinqa liziva lixhomekeke kwiqabane lakhe, likhubekile ukuba iinqwenela zakhe kunye nezimvo aziqwalaselwe.
- Ikhono lokuzikhusela liphendulelwa ekubeni lukhuni kunye neengxabano, kwaye nayiphi na inkcazo yengcamango yomntu ingakhokelela ekuhlaleni. Le ndoda ingundoqo kwaye oku kuxoxwa ngako.
Ngokuqhelekileyo abafazi abazi indlela yokusebenzisana nomntu oqinileyo ukuze ugcine ulwalamano kwaye ungalahlekelwa nguwe. Okokuqala, ufuna ukuzithoba ngokupheleleyo, ngokutshintshiselana nokunyamekela nokukhusela. Nangona kunjalo, ukufezekisa ukungeniswa, indoda ilahlekelwa ngumdla kunye nenhlonipho yowesifazane. Xa intombazana encinci iphikisana nemingeni yomyeni wayo,
Abasetyhini abahambelaniyo: bafuna ukuba buthathaka kwaye bathembele kumntu, kodwa abayithandi ukuhlala kwindawo exhomekeke kuyo kunye nokumthobela. Ndifuna ukubonisa amandla nokuzimela. Xa umntu evumela, bayakhononda ngobuthathaka bakhe. Kuvela ukuba umntu onamandla kwaye obuthathaka akafanelanga umfazi ngokupheleleyo. Omnye akamvumeli ukuba akwazi ukuzithetha, kwaye enye ayikuvumeli ukuba uphumule kwaye uzive njengowesifazane. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu abalungileyo abakho kwaye ekugqibeleni yonke into ixhomekeke kuthi ngokwethu.