Abambalwa abafazi bathanda ukwabelana ngamadoda abo kunye nomnye, nangona lo mnye ungumfazi wakhe osemthethweni. Nangona kunjalo, ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba ibhinqa, ukuqala ulwalamano nomntu otshatileyo, luhlala luthandana naye. Kule meko, ufuna ukuhlala kwindawo ephambili ebomini bakhe, kuzo zonke izizathu abantu ababaziyo ababethelela ngaphandle nje ibinzana: "Ewe, ndidibana nomntu otshatileyo " kwaye uyaqhubeka efuna ingqalelo yakhe. Kodwa njengokuba umkhuba ubonisa indoda esitshatileyo inqabile ukushiya intsapho yakhe, iqhawule umfazi wayo, ukuba ibe nenkosikazi yayo.
Indlela yokuyeka umthandi otshatileyo?
Ukuba umthandi wakho ngumntu otshatileyo, ngoko ukuthanda naye kuphela ekuqaleni kunokubonakala ngathi yinto yefestile. Ewe, kulwalamano lwakho kukho uthando, ububele kunye nezinye iimeko ezintle ezingekho ngokupheleleyo kwiintsapho zobomi. Kodwa musa ukulibala ukuba kuye, ngokuchasene nawo onke amazwi akhe, umfazi nentsapho baya kuhlala behlala kwindawo yokuqala, kwaye wena ebomini bakhe ukhona njengolonwabo oluhle.
Ungakhohlwa njani umthandi otshatileyo?
Ukuba uzimisele ukuphula naluphi ulwalamano, kodwa ungayazi indlela yokuphuma kumntu , ngoko kufuneka wenze umsebenzi omncinane kuwe.
- Qonda ukuba wena ulixhoba lenveli kunye nomntu okhongayo. Kukho uhlobo lwabasetyhini abaziva banesidingo esikhulu sokuthandwa. Kwaye baxhoba, okanye kunoko iindoda zendoda esatshatileyo. Kungenxa yeengxaki zakho malunga nokuba akukho mntu ngaphandle kwakho ongayi kumthandana naye, umntu uya kuqhubeka ekukuqhubela ixesha elide aze anike izithembiso ezingenanto.
- Ukwandisa ukuzithemba kwakho. Ebudlelwaneni nomthandane otshatileyo, kuphela kuphela umfazi onokuzithemba okuzenzekelayo, kunye nesidingo sokwabelana nomntu othandekayo kunye nomnye umfazi ngokumnciphisa. Yiya kwi-reception ukuya kwi-psychologist, shiya kwisangqa sakho abo bantu abakhuthazayo nabakuxhasayo.
- Ungesabi ukubeka umbuzo ngokucacileyo. Wena, njengowesifazane, unelungelo lonwabo, ngoko ungesabi ukubeka umbuzo wokuqhawula umtshato. Ukuba indoda iyaqhawula, uya kuba neentsapho ezitsha, kwaye ukuba uyayenqaba, uyazi malunga nokunyaniseka kweenjongo zakhe kuwe.
Ngoku mhlawumbi uyazi indlela yokuphuma kumthandi otshatileyo ukuba uyaqonda ukuba zonke izithembiso zakhe ayikho nto engenanto.
Kuze kube yimhla, ibinzana elitshatileyo lomfazi otshatileyo alimangalisi nabani na, kuba akukho zibini ezitshatileyo ezingaxhathanisi ngokunyaniseka komtshato kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo ziphethe unyango. Bakholelwa ukuba isondo kwicala linye kuphela lamathuba okuphumla, kwaye kungekhona nje ingozi ebomini babo.
Umfazi osemtsha otshatileyo kumfazi otshatileyo uyindlela yokuzibonakalisa ukukhwabanisa ngesondo eqinisekisiwe ngamava afunyanwe kumtshato womtshato.
Indlela yokugcina umthandi otshatileyo?
Ukuba ungowombolo yabasetyhini naphezu kokuba yonke into ifuna ukugcina indoda esatshatileyo, ngoko ke kukho le mali ebonakalisiweyo yeenkulungwane.
- Ngesondo. Amadoda atshintsha ukutshintsha ubomi babo besini esitshatileyo, ngoko ngoko isondo esithandanayo siyakwenza ukuba abuyele kuwe ngokuphindaphindiweyo.
- Ukuzonwabisa. Nangona ulwabelana nomntu izinto zakhe kunye nokuthabatha uya kuba yinxalenye yehlabathi lakhe.
- Ukuvavanya. Amadoda awayikumangaliswa yindalo ebuthathaka, ngoko-ke lo mthandi usebenza njenge-balm ngenxa yomphefumlo emva kokuxabana nokuhlambalaza kumfazi.
I-Psychology yomthandi otshatileyo
Iingcali zengqondo zithi indoda efuna ukuthandana ngecala iyaziva ikhuselekile kwaye ibuhlungu ekuziphatheni kwayo, idinga ukuxhaswa kokuziphatha kunye nokuzaliswa kwemvakalelo emihle ayifumana kwintombi yakhe.
Indlela yokwenza umthandi otshatileyo abe nomona?
Ngexesha apho umfazi eqala ukuziva esongelwa ukuba ashiywe, uyazama ukukhupha umona wothando ngomtshati wakhe. Ukwenza oku, ungasebenzisa indlela efanelekileyo, ebonakalisiweyo kwaye uyeke ukubiza umntu. Yena, ngokukhawuleza uqaphele ukungabikho kwengqwalasela yangaphambili kwindawo yakho kwaye ngokwemvelo yakhe iya kuqala ukuba nomona.