Sivame ukuxhoma amaleyibhile kubantu, esithi "unengxaki, awuyi kuba nantoni na" okanye "unethemba, ubona ihlabathi lonke kwiiglasi zepinki". Kwaye kuthetha ukuthini ngokwenene ukuba yi-pessimist kwaye ngubani na onethemba elinjalo?
Ithemba kunye nesifo sengxaki
Ithemba kunye neengxaki zokungathembeki ngamagama aqhelekileyo ukwenzela ukubonisa omnye umntu okanye omnye umntu. Kodwa asiqhelekanga ukudibanisa iikhontrakthi, kungekhona ukuqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba lithetha ntoni na eli gama. Ngokomzekelo, abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba i-pessimist yinto enolwazi olunolwazi. Ingaba kunjalo ngokwenene, okanye ngaba umehluko phakathi komntu othembekileyo kunye neengxaki zokungathembekanga kungekhona kuphela kwiinkcukacha?
Ukuqonda ukuba yintoni into engathembekiyo eyahlukileyo kwi-optimist, kuyimfuneko ukunika inkcazo kuzo zombini iingcamango. Masiqale sicinge ngeliphi igama elithi pessimist lithetha. Ngokutsho kwesichazizwi sikaDal, le ngcamango ithetha umntu obona konke kwizinto ezimbi nje, ezilindelekileyo ebomini kuphela kunye nemingcipheko. Umntu ongaqapheli uvuyo lobomi, uyazisola kuphela, unzima kakhulu ukuhlala.
Othembekileyo ngumntu onokuboni izinto ezilungileyo kuyo nayiphi na indlela yokuphila. Kodwa musa ukucinga ukuba abaxhasi abanakuboni umhlaba ngombala wangempela-bonke bayazibona, kwaye bonke abantu bayaqaphela, baphatha nje ngokwahlukileyo kunokuba abanethemba. Ndatshitshiswa yimoto, ndaqhekeza umlenze wam, wangena esibhedlele, kodwa ndafumana ikhefu lokugula, ithuba lokuphumla nokubona intsapho yam kunye nabantwana abaninzi. Kule meko, "uchithe i-snot" kwaye ukhononda ngobomi, ngokuqinisekileyo, kulula, i-pessimist yenze njalo. Kodwa ngenxa yokugxeka (abanye abantu, ingakumbi bakhe) - njengengqangi ebukhali. Ngako oko, kuzo zonke iingxaki zempilo, uya kufumana indlela yokufumana imali okanye ukuhlonela abanye okanye ukuqinisekiswa ngokufumana amava amatsha.
Ngoko, yintoni umehluko phakathi kwesifo sokungathembeki kunye nethemba? Ulwahlulo lunokufunyanwa ubunzima, kodwa into ephambili iya kubandakanya isikhundla esiphezulu (esomeleleyo) esibalulekileyo sabantu abanethemba.
Kuthekani ukuba ndiyindoda engathembekiyo?
Akuyimfuneko ukuqala ukukhalazela ngobomi ngendlela eyithandayo kwaye uthi akukho nto iya kuvela ngoku. Njengoko uqeqesho lubonisa, i-pessimist ingasoloko ikwazi ukubeka ithemba. Kodwa okokuqala, cinga ukuba ngaba kuyimfuneko ngempela kuwe. Izenzo zokuhlangula kufuneka zithathwe ukuba ukungafihlisi kwakho kuye kwafikelela kwisigxina sawo, usoloko usendaweni yokudandatheka, ukuphazamiseka, akukho nto ikukholisa. Kodwa inxalenye encinci yokukhathazeka okunempilo ingaya kumntu ngokulungileyo. Iingcamango ezingenakukwazi ukubonelela imeko engowona mbi, kodwa i-pessimists iya kuyenza. Ngoko ke, ukuba unethemba lokulungelelanisa, kodwa ulungele ukulungeleka, ngoko ke le nqanaba lokungazinzi kufuneka ilungiswe.
Ungayiyeka njani ukuba yindlala?
Ukuba izinga lakho lokungathembeki lifikelele kwindawo ephambili, ngoko kufanelekile ukuthatha amanyathelo okuthatha isigqibo sokutshintsha imeko. Ngoko, njani ukuba ube nethemba kwi-pessimist?
- Yeka ukucwangcisa iziganeko ezimbi kakhulu. Ukuba ucinga ukuba "akukho nto enokwenzeka inokwenzeka kum" kwaye "andizange ndifumane nantoni na," njalo njalo. Yeka ukucinga okuninzi, kunokuba ungowona mbi kunokuba unomomothekayo obomangalisa?
- Yeka ukuzigxeka yonke into, ukulibala malunga nomkhwa wokuzimela. Ewe, usenokuba wenze iphutha, kodwa unako ukulungisa. Ukungaphumeleli kwenzeka kumntu wonke, kodwa kufuneka badibana kunye kunye nokukhawuleza bafune iindlela zokusombulula ingxaki, kunokuba bangene ephoseni lentlango yokuzithiba kunye nokuzisola malunga nokusilela kwabo.
- Zama ukuzungeze ngezithemba.
Ukuba uthetha ngeentlobo ezifanayo zokungathembeki, ngoko akukho nto ingabikho mbuzo wokucinga okulungileyo. - Funda ukuzidumisa, qaphela izinto zakho ezilungileyo, umsebenzi wakho nezenzo. Hlola ngokucacileyo imeko nganye, jonga oko wenze kakuhle, kwaye yintoni efunekayo eyenziwe ukwenza kube ngcono.
- Fumana umthombo wobumnandi uze ungalibali ukuyibuyisela yona. Ukuzilibazisa, ukuphulaphula umculo omhle, ukucamngca, ukutya okuhlwayileyo, iimpahla ezintle, iincwadi ezintsha okanye ufudumala olunika umntu oyithandayo. Funda ukuzonwabisa ubomi.