Ngokunyaniseka ebomini kuninzi, kodwa indlela yokusabela ngayo kule ngxaki ayaziwa bonke. Okwangoku, kuyimfuneko ukufunda iindlela zokuzikhusela zengqondo yakho, ngenxa yokuba abantu abanobugwenxa banako ukuphazamisa umvakalelo, ukuzithemba okuphantsi kunye nokuzithemba , kubangela ukuba uhlazeke.
Indlela yokusabela ngokuzithobayo?
I-Psychology incoma ukuphendula ngokunyaniseka njengento engathandekiyo kodwa engenakugwema. Ukusuka kubantu abaneemvakalelo ezimbi kunye nesimo asikwazi ukufihla, ngoko kufuneka ufunde ukuhlala uxolo kwaye ulinganise.
Okokuqala, kufuneka uzame ukucacisa into eyenza umntu abe nexhoba eliqhelekileyo lokubakho kwamacandelo. Oku kungabikho kokungakhuselekanga kwangaphandle okanye kwangaphakathi, ukuthozama, okunye okunye okudibeneyo kunye nokukhuliswa kakuhle, okungavumelekanga impendulo eyaneleyo kumntu onobudlova. Ukuze uzikhusele, kufuneka ubhekane ngokuqinisekileyo, ungathandabuzeki kwaye uyamangalisa, ngoko ke nayiphi na into ekhuselekileyo iya kucinga kathathu ukuba ingaba likhuselekile ukuqondisa umbi wakhe kumntu onjalo.
Ukuzithoba ngokukhawuleza kukunyaniseka, kufuneka uzinikele ngokufanelekileyo. UHam ngumntu obuthathaka, ongenasiphelo ongenakukwazi ukujamelana neemvakalelo zakhe kunye nokungahambi kakuhle, ngoko ke uzama ukuzibhokoxa ngeendleko zabanye. Yiphatha isichoso somlomo njengomntu ongenampilo, engavumelekanga, ngoko uya kuba neentlungu, kunye nokuzama kwakhe ukuhlazisa-ukuhleka.
Xa ukuhlaselwa kwezibhengezo zomlomo kudingekile, "gqoka" imaski yokungenakwenzeka, i-detachment. Unokucinga umfanekiso ovela kwi-fable kaKrylov - indlovu iza, kwaye i-Moska engaboniyo ihamba, iyabetha, kodwa ayikwazi ukwenza nantoni na. Ukuba usenokuthi uthethe nge-boor - akudingeki ukuba ume kwindawo ye-defender. Ukuthetha ngolu hlobo, kufuneka uqiniseke, uhlale uxolo kwaye unokuzithemba, ngaphandle kokucima. Ukuqhafaza kunye nokukhawuleza kwiphendule-le nto yindawo yokuzikhusela, nto leyo eya kuvuselela umchasi ukuba aqhubele phambili ukubhala amagama.
Indlela yokusabela ngayo ngokunyaniseka kwendoda okanye othandekayo?
Ukunyaniseka kommelwane, umlingane kunye nomthengisi kwivenkile yinto engathandekiyo, kodwa isimo esilula ngokulula. Kodwa xa umntu othandekayo okanye umyeni ekhohlakeleyo, kwiimeko ezinjalo indlela yokuxazulula imeko ifunekayo.
Into ebalulekileyo ekujonganeni nokunyaniseka komntu osondeleyo kukuqonda izizathu zayo. Nangona ngokukhawuleza kubalulekile ukuphawula - lo "mbonakaliso" malunga nantoni na into enhle ayithethi, kwaye mhlawumbi, le ndoda ingabonakalisa "amanxungubo" amaninzi.
Okokuqala, kukufanelekile ukukhankanya imeko apho ukunyaniseka kungagwetywa. Indoda eyaneleyo, ukuba ikhulile ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo, inelungelo lokuba yedwa - "iya emqolombeni". Ukuba ibhinqa lizama ukumkhathaza, liyakwazi ukunyanzela okanye ukunyaniseka, kwaye isincomo sokuqala kukuba indoda kufuneka ifune ukufumana ixesha lokubuyela, kodwa emva koko sinokuthetha ukuba ubuhlungu obungakanani amazwi akhe abangela. Indoda enothando kufuneka ixolise kwaye inikeze umfazi indlela eyakhayo kulezi zimo.
Ingxaki yesibini eqhelekileyo yinguqu ebonakalayo kumntu emva kwexesha elithile emva komtshato.
Kule meko, umyeni makaqale ukuthetha, uchaze ukuba ukuziphatha kwakhe kubangela intlungu (ngubani owaziyo, mhlawumbi indlela yakhe yokuhlaziya ayithethi ngokwaneleyo). Ukuba incoko ayincedi, kwaye iqabane liqhubeka lilolonga "umfazi" wakhe kumfazi othandekayo, okanye uhlala ephikisana, mhlawumbi uya kufuneka abe nenxalenye yaloo mntu. Kwaye ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa yintsapho kunokubangela ukuba i-boor ifunde ukuzithiba, kwaye ukuba oko akukwenzekayo - ibhinqa liza kugcina ixesha kunye neentsholongwane.