Kukho iintlobo ezininzi zeempembelelo eziphathekayo, kodwa injongo yabo kukunyanzelisa umntu ukuba enze amanyathelo afanelekileyo kwiminqweno yakhe. Ngamanye amaxesha "ixhoba" lizama ukuxhathisa, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha livuma ngokuzithandela kunye nomkhohlisi, kuba engathandabuzeki ngokwaneleyo kwinto eyenzekayo. Le ngqungquthela ibizwa ngokuba yi-gaslaiting.
I-Gazlayting - yintoni le?
Kwiminyaka engamashumi ama-60 ekhulwini lamashumi mabini inqaku elichaza ukuphathwa ngokubaluleka kwabanye abantu malunga nokunyaniseka kwehlabathi elibangqongileyo kuye kwaba yimbuyekezo. Buyela kwisihloko se-movie "Ukukhanya kweGesi" (ukuKhanya kweGesi) ngokusekelwe kumdlalo wePatrick Hamilton "iSitrato seNgelosi" (1938). Emva kweminyaka engama-30 emva kokukhululwa komfanekiso, umfazi waseMelika uFlorence Rush wanyathelisa incwadi ethi "Imfihlo engqongqo: ukuxhaphazwa kwabantwana ngokwesondo," isishwankathelo sezigqibo malunga neengqondo ezichazwe kwifilimu kaGeorge Cukor.
Ngokwenene, ukutshiswa komzimba yindlela yokwenza ubundlobongela ngengqondo apho umntu oyedwa ezama ukukwenza umchasi wakhe angabandezeli. Ukulondoloza ukuqonda kwakhe, unyanzelisa umthunywa:
- ukungathandabuzeki kwimemori yakho;
- ukuba acinge oko kungenjalo;
- zichanekile;
- ukungathandabuzeki okunyanisekileyo kwinto eyenzekayo nokwanela ngokwabo;
- ukuba acinge ukuba uhamba kunye nengqondo.
Iintlobo zokuxhaphaza - ukukhanya
Ukusebenzisa ukuqonda komnye umntu kwaye umphoqele ukuba athathe indawo efunwayo yombono unokusebenzisa ubuchule bokuziphatha nokuthetha. Ekugqibeleni, umnxibelelwano (ngubani na ochaphazelekayo, ochaphazelekayo). Iqhinga labo elikhohlakeleyo lisibane, kuba liphazamisa umqondo wenyaniso. Omnye uthetha ngokuthembisayo ibinzana lomchasi "Kwakungenjalo!" Uyayinqanda ukholo lomnxibelelanisi kuye. Umqalisi wefuthe:
- ngokuqinisekileyo uyalahla iibakala ezibalulekileyo kumdlali wakhe;
- ubonisa ukungaqondi kakuhle - ubulili, iminyaka, ubugcisa.
Ukuzalisa phakathi kwabatshatileyo
Izindlela zobundlobongela phezu kwengqondo zidla ngokubamba iincwadana, i-sociopaths, abaxoxayo. Abantu abanjalo baqamba amanga ngokunyanisekileyo kwabanye, bebonisa ukuba imbono yabo yodwa yinyaniso. Kwakhona, "iindwendwe ezingavunyelwe" zingasetyenziselwa izibini, ngakumbi abo bamkela ubudlova. Emva kokuxabana nokuhlaselwa, elinye icala (umgca) luya kukhanyela ngokukrakra ukungalunganga kwalo. Ngaphandle kokungazi ukuba kukuphi ukutshabalalisa, abatshabalali bayaqhubeka beyisebenzisa ngokuphumelelayo.
Ubundlobongela bengqondo obungaphakathi kwintlalo yinto engavamile kuluntu lwangoku. Ngokuqhelekileyo amaxhoba okuxhaphaza abameli bezesondo ezibuthathaka, nangona kungacacile ukuba kutheni amadoda abe iGazlayter. Ekuqaleni, ixhoba aliyiqondi ukuba into ebonakalayo ekuphatheni komnxibelelwano. Kodwa uqala ngokungaqiniseki ngokwaneleyo ngokwaneleyo kwaye ngokuvisisanayo ngokuvumelana namazwi omgxeki.
Ukuphahlalisa abantwana
Ubundlobongela beengqondo bunokubangelwa kubuhlobo bomzali bomntwana, bobabini kubantwana kunye nabahlobo babo abadala. Imizekelo yokuphathwa kwekhaya:
- Ukuba umama okanye uyise uhlala etshela umntwana wakhe ukuba akafanelekanga kwaye wenza konke "kungekufanele kube njalo."
- Umntwana ulinganiswa nento engenako ukutshintsha ngenxa yobudala bakhe: uncinci kwaye akakwazi ukuzigqiba isigqibo, ukunika iingcebiso, ukuphikisa abantu abadala, njl.
- Umama noyise baqikelela ukunyanzelisa ubundlobongela kwintsapho .
- Ukuba umntwana omdala ubangela abazali ukuba bangabazelele imemori yabo ("Ndixelele (a), anikhumbuli?"), Lo ngumzekelo wegesi.
Umbane oqhelekileyo uhlala udala umva wokungakhuseki kunye nokungahlambuluki kwixhoba, kwaye unqande ukuziphatha kwakhe. Umsebenzi owona mkhulu kukuba unamandla aphelele phezu komntu kwaye ukhusele okungekho nto. Ngokungafani nabantu abadala, kunzima kakhulu kumntwana ukumelana nomntu ophethe i-manipulator, akayiqondi ukuba unobundlobongela obungokomzwelo kwaye akanakubalekela kwi-aggressor. Isiphumo sinokuzithemba okuphantsi kunye ne-psyche ephukile.
Greylayting emsebenzini
Icandelo lobugcisa nalo liwela kwindawo yengozi yobundlobongela ngengqondo. Abasebenzi beliphi na indawo bahlala bexhoba ngabaphathi babo, abawahlazisa kwaye baholele ekuthotheni ubugcisa. Ungazi ukuba yintoni ukukhanya, inkokheli inokukhenkcela, ungabiza into engafanelekanga kwaye isongela ukuxothwa. Kwaye umqeshwa uphatha kakuhle imisebenzi yakhe. Umgcini-makhulu oyintloko usebenzisa i-"krotithi" kunye nesicwangciso,
- Okokuqala ubonisa ukuba ungaphantsi kobuqili kunye nesidenge.
- Emva koko uthi "uthatha into yonke entliziyweni."
Ngaba unokumthanda?
IGaziter ngumntu oqhelekileyo eneemfuno kunye nobuthathaka bakhe, nangona asetyenziselwa ukutshintsha iimbono kunye nokuxhaphaza abanye. Abantu abaye bajamelana nomdlali onjalo kwimpilo yangempela abanakukwazi ukujamelana neengxabano ezikhulayo. Kunzima kakhulu kwintsapho. Umbuzo oyintloko okhuthaza umdlalo we gazlaytera: unokuyithanda? Ngokomlinganiselo omkhulu, umlawuli wothando uthanda yena ngokwakhe, kodwa akukho mntu uphambukele kuye. Ngamanye amaxesha izenzo zakhe azibi . Esikhundleni sokuhlaselwa kunye nokunyaniseka, unokubamba ingqalelo kwenyameko, kodwa uthando olunjalo aluyi kuba yinyani.
I-Gazlayting - indlela yokumelana nayo?
I-Gazlayt ubudlelwane bohlobo olukhethekileyo oluhlala luvela phakathi kwabantu abasondeleyo okanye abo basoloko esondeleyo (oogxa nabo, ofunda nabo ekilasini, omelwane, njl.). Ukuxhathisa ukulungiswa kwindlela yakho, ungazama ukwenza oku kulandelayo:
- Ukuba kunokwenzeka, thintela ulwalamano kunye nomgxeki okanye umkhawuleze ubuncinane.
- Ukufumana ukuzithemba, amandla akho, ukwanela.
- Xa uhlasela imemori embi, ukuze kungabikho ukungathandabuzeki, bhala phantsi zonke iingongoma ezibalulekileyo kwincwadi okanye kwi-dictaphone.
- Musa ukukhokela kwiindlela zobuqili kunye nokucaphukisa. Ukuba incoko iya kwisitorelo esingadingekile, yima.
Iifilimu malunga nokukhanya
Ukuba kukho ukukrokra ukuba ukwenziwa komntu kuyenziwa kumntu, yintoni enokuyenza ukuze ufunde kabanzi malunga nayo? Izindlela zobundlobongela ngokwengqondo kunye nokuphathwa kwe "endaweni yento yokwenene" zijongwa yimifanekiso eshukumayo yeentlobo ezahlukeneyo. Ukongeza kwitheyipu yeklasi "Ukukhanya kweGesi" (1944), eyanika igama igama elitsha, le mifanekiso ifana:
- "Rebecca" , ngo-1940. I-Hitchcock enomdla ngokuphathelele umfazi oqhuba ngokukhawuleza indlu entsha.
- "Ingelosi yesitrato" , 1940. Inkcazo yokuqala yesikrini yokudlala kukaHamilton.
- "I-Dogville" , ngo-2003. Enye yeemafilimu ezidumileyo ngokubhekiselele kwengqondo.
- "Umntwana weRosemary" , ngo-1968. Ubugorha bePolanski obukhuthazayo buqinisekisa wonke umntu malunga "nenyaniso ehlukile".
- "Duplex" , ngo-2003. Umdlalo onguGranny, oqhuba abaqashi abatsha abahlazileyo.