Ngelishwa, akukho ziphakamiso ezichanekileyo malunga nendlela onokutsala ingqalelo yomntu omthandayo. Yonke into incike kwiinkalo ezininzi, siya kuzama ukunika iingcebiso eziqhelekileyo eziya kunceda kule ngxaki enzima.
Ziziphi iintlobo zamabhinqa amadoda awalunayo?
Okokuqala, musa ukulibala ukuba amadoda ayamthanda amehlo, ngoko ke onke amabhinqa afuna ukuqwalasela, kufuneka ukuba aqaphele ukubonakala kwawo. Izambatho kufuneka zikhethwe ukuba zijongane, zifihlile iimpazamo zeli nani, ukuba zikhona. Umfanekiso kufuneka ukhethwe ngokwemilinganiselo, loo ntokazi kufuneka ikhululeke kwaye iqiniseke kuyo. Musa ukugqoka isambatho esilahlayo, nangona umlinganiselo wakho uphelele. Ukucoca, ukuzenzela kunye nekhwele kufuneka kufane nomfanekiso wakho, kwaye ugqibezele iphunga elimnandi. Ukubukeka komfazi kunokuthabatha, kwaye ukunyamezela ngokunyanisekileyo kunokukuqhubhisa. Imizuzwana emihlanu kuphela ngokwaneleyo ukujonga kwamehlo amabhinqa, le ndoda yakwazi ukuqonda ukuba kuyafaneleka ukuqala lo mhlobo.
Yintoni ebangela umdla wesini esahlukileyo ngaphezu kobukeka? Ewe, ukuziphatha. Indlela umfazi aziphatha ngayo ekukhulumisaneni nabantu, unokuqiniseka kangakanani kuye kwaye ingaba unokuxhasa isihloko sencoko. Kuyimfuneko ukukhokelwa kwisifundo esikhethwe ngumnxibelelwano, njengokuba nayiphi na indoda iyavuya xa ephulaphule. Kucetyiswa ukuba ixesha lokunxibelelana kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukwazi umntu, malunga nomsebenzi wakhe, izinto ezithandwayo, kuya kuba kuhle ukufumana izihloko eziqhelekileyo kwingxoxo.
Ungayenza njani enye into ekutsaleni umdla wesini esahlukileyo?
Ulwimi lwezandla luya kusebenza. Xa uxoxisana, akufanele uwele iingalo kunye nemilenze yakho, ukuhamba okunjalo kuthetha ngokuvalwa kunye nokungafuni ukudibanisa. Ukutshintshana okufutshane kwicala lakhe kuya kulungisa umntu ukuba athethe. Ukongeza isicatshulwa ngokwesini, unako ukulungisa iincwadana kunye nokuyeka amehlo akho emlonyeni. Ukuba umhlobo wokuqala wayiphumelele, oku akuthethi ukuba le ndoda ngoku yakho. Kuyimfuneko ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukubonakala ngokungabonakaliyo kwiindawo apho kudla kwenzeka khona, umzekelo, kwindawo yokuzivocavoca okanye echibini lokubhukuda.
Uyakwenza njani ukutsala ingqalelo yomntu otshatileyo?
Intliziyo, njengoko besithi, awukwazi ukuyalela, ungayithanda indoda esatshatileyo. Kule nto kubalulekile ukuba unqume ukuba uya kulwa nalo, okanye ungaphumli kangcono. Amadoda angahlukaniswa zibe zintathu iintlobo: inkani, u-Juan kunye nabathandwayo, elowo luneendlela zalo ezithile. Kunzima indoda enenkani ukuba ingene ekukholweni, ungumchasi wemicimbi yothando. Indlela eya entliziyweni yomntu onjalo ngumhlobo. NgoDon Juan, into elula kakhulu, uya kuvuya ngokuvumelana nobudlelwane obunqatshelwe, kuluphawu oluncinane malunga neenjongo zakho. Uhlobo lwesithathu lomntu luthandana nomlingane wakhe osemthethweni, kwaye ukuthatha umntu onjalo kwintsapho akulula. Kubalulekile kungekuphela ukuba ube ngumhlobo kuye, kufuneka akuthembele kuwe, ngoko kunye nexesha, kulula ukudlala ngothando kunokuhlakulela
Unokukhangela njani ingqalelo yangaphambili?
Ukutsala ingqalelo yomntu owayesakuba ngumntu okanye umntu ngumsebenzi onzima kunzima. Konke kuxhomekeke kwizizathu kunye nomqali wokuqhekeka, kunye nokujongwa kweemvakalelo ezidibanise nawe. Kwimeko nayiphi na imeko, ngaphandle kweendlela zobhinqa kule meko ayikwazi ukwenza. Kubalulekile ukuba usebenze rhoqo kwimbonakalo yakho kunye nomfanekiso, kufuneka uqhubeke nobuhle, ukukhawuleza nokuzithemba. Loo mfazi uya kufana namadoda amaninzi, kwaye ngoko, angathanda ukuqala. Intlanganiso yakho kufuneka ibe yinto engavamile. Ukuba akayithandanga, akufanele umemeza kuzo zonke ikhonkco, umbonise ukuba iimvakalelo zihlangene kuphela emva kokufumana kumntu ezinye iimpawu zokunakwa.