Ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka ucinge ngendlela onokubiza ngayo umfana wakho oyintandokazi, ngenxa yokuba ufuna ukumbiza ngenyameko nangomdla, kwaye wavuya. Enyanisweni, musa ukufana namaqhawe aseMelika ase-Melodramas, aqondana omnye nomnye "othandekayo, othandekayo", njengokungathi amagama abanye awazi. Kwaye andifuni ezinye izilwanyana, njenge "umvundla" kunye "nekati". Ngoko yintoni omele ukwenze, unokubiza njani umntu omthandayo, ukuze loo mntu athande?
"Ndibize ngoxolo ngegama ..."
Iingcali zeengqondo ezinika izifundo ngokuchanekileyo zixela ukuba akukho nto imnandi kumntu ngaphezu kwesandi segama lakhe. Ngoko kutheni umthandayo omele abe ngumnye? Emva kwakho konke, ungabiza ukutshintshwa okuninzi kumntu egameni lomfana, kuya kuba mhle kwaye kungekudala ukucima, njengokuba, umzekelo, "ama-puddings amnandi". Kwaye abanye, ngokukodwa abantu abazondayo abayi kuphendulela nakwezinye iinzame zakho zokuzithelekisa kunye nabameli belizwe lezilwanyana kunye nezinye izikhundla, ngokuqhelekileyo abaqapheli ezinye izibheno ngaphandle kwegama labo. Umntu onjalo kwisibheno esithi "kotya", mhlawumbi, okanye i-crrified croak or even asking: "Ulilibale igama lam?" Ngoko ukuba umntu wakho ungowalolu hlobo lwabantu, kufuneka uqinise imfesane yakho kwaye ubize intanda yakho, njengokuba uyayithanda, oko kukuthi, izixhobo ezithandekayo egameni lakhe.
Ndibize "ngenaye"!
Awazi ukuba yiyiphi amagama onokumnceda ngobumnene umfana, ukholelwa ukuba ngamagama onke umntu angamnxibelelana naye, kodwa ufuna into engakumbi? Yaye ngubani owathi akunakwenzeka ukufumana kwizinto zentlungu? Makhe aveze imfihlelo, yiyiphi iigama elide eliza kuvuya kakhulu ukuva emlonyeni wakho. Into ephambili kukufumanisa oku akusiyo umbuzo ukusuka emngceleni, "ebunzini," kodwa ngokuchanekileyo, emva kokulinda imeko efanelekileyo. Emva koko umfana angasabela ngokungathandekiyo ukuba uyamkhathaza ngombuzo othi "Ewe, ndingakubiza njani?" Esikhundleni sokubamba okuqhelekileyo kunye negama elithi "Sawubona!".
Ewe, kuthekani ukuba unesibindi sokufumanisa oko uthandayo kumthandi wakho, okanye awuzange uphendule umzuzu ofanelekileyo? Emva koko zama ukulandela umgaqo "wokuphatha abanye njengoko ufuna ukuba baphathe." Zama ukucinga ngothando oluthiwa yiyintandokazi, yintoni unyango oya kuba mnandi kuwe. Misela? Ewe, ngoku uhlala uguqule kuphela ukuphela ngokuchanekileyo, ubone oko kwenzeka. Ukuba uyayithanda umphumo, faka amava okuthandayo, ubiza ngokuba ukhangela kakhulu ukuphendula. Ngaba wayeyithanda? Emva koko akukho ziingxaki. Yaye ukuba loo mfana engathandeki, xolisa kwaye uqhubeke nokuzama. Ekugqibeleni, kufuneka kubekho igama elifanelwe bobabini, ngokufanelekileyo, okanye othandekayo akayi kuphila loo ntshukumo phezu kwakhe kwaye yena ngokwakhe uya kuthetha ukuba yiyiphi amazwi enomdla ayithandayo. Into ephambili, ukuya kwilizwe lamaphupha, ukuba ungabonakali amagama angathathwa njengokunyaniseka okanye ukuhleka usulu - ayithandi mntu.
Kuvinjelwe, kodwa, kukuhle kangakanani
Amanye amantombazana, athathwe ngokubonakalisa kumbuzo wokuthi kuhle kangakanani ukubiza umntu, ukulibala ngaye okanye ukuza ngegama elibi elingenakulinganiswa. Cinga ngako, ngaba kubalulekile kulo mbandela uqobo? Emva koko, enyanisweni, akukho nto entsha kulo mhlaba, yonke into yayisinye kunye nomnye umntu, ngoko kukufanelekile ukuba uchithe ixesha lokuqulunqa amagama angamnandi, kunokuba nje ujabulele inkampani? Kwaye amazwi afanelekileyo aya kuphendulwa kwiimvakalelo, ngokwabo. Yaye makabe bandala njengehlabathi, nokuba iibhiliyoni zothando ziphendukela komnye nomnye, kodwa la mazwi aya kuvela entliziyweni, baya kuba banyanisekileyo, kwaye le nto ibaluleke kakhulu.