Ukuhlukana nomntu othandekayo yenye yezona zinto zingamnandi kwaye zibuhlungu. Kule meko, ukupheliswa kokuphelelwa lithemba kufaka, kubonakala ngathi ihlabathi liye lawa, kwaye ulwandle lwezinyembezi nobusuku obungalali luye lube nzima ngakumbi. Yaye unokukulibala msinya umhlobo wakho, ukuba kukho iinkumbulo ezininzi ezinxulumene naye. Kodwa kule meko, kufuneka uzincede kwaye uqonde ukuba ixesha liphilisa ngakumbi kunamayeza. I-Psychology iyaphendula umbuzo wokuba kungenzeka yini ukulibala umntu omthandayo. Kunokwenzeka kwaye kuyimfuneko, kuba olu hlobo lweemeko lubuhlungu kakhulu kwi-psyche kwaye lunokubangela ukuxinezeleka kunye neminye imiphumo engathandekiyo.
Yintoni ongayenza ukulibala umntu omthandayo?
- Musa ukuxhonywa kumntu, mkhangele ngeentlanganiso kwaye uzibuze indlela aphila ngayo emva kokuhlukana. Oku kunokubangela ukukhathazeka kwengqondo, kunye nokuqhoxisa kwizenzo ezicatshangelwe kakubi. Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukubuyela, ngoko-psychologists bayacetyiswa ukuba bathathe le nyathelo. Ekugqibeleni, oku akunjalo kwaye akukho nto engalunganga ngokubuza malunga nomsebenzi wakhe okanye impilo yakhe. Ukongezelela, le yindlela eqinisekileyo yokugcina ulwalamano, kwaye mhlawumbi ubuhlobo bobuhlobo.
- Ungazivali ezindongeni ezine, uzivelele ngentlungu. Nokuba unxibelelwano oluqhelekileyo lunokulondoloza umntu ekubeni akhuphe kwaye axinezelekile. Kuyafaneleka ukuzama ukubonakala ngokuphindaphindiweyo kuluntu, kuya kunceda ukuphazamisa iingcamango ezingacacanga, kwaye ukwahlukana kuya kuba nzima.
- Indlela esebenzayo kakhulu ukusuka kwinqanaba leengcinga zengqondo kukupheliswa kwazo zonke izifundo ezinxulumene neememori zendoda ethandekayo. Uya kufuneka uthumele okanye ulahle zonke izipho kunye nezinto. Kunzima, kodwa impilo iyabiza. Ngokukhawuleza ukuba zonke izinto ezikhumbuza umntu zinyamalale, oku kuya kunceda ukukhulula uxinzelelo nokubuyisela impilo yengqondo.
- Kuhle kakhulu, ukuba unokufumana indlela yokubonisa iimvakalelo. Awudingi ukugcina yonke into kuwe-ukuqokelela ukungabikho komsebenzi kungakhokelela kwiziphumo eziyingozi kwaye kuya kuthatha ixesha elide ukusebenzisana neengcali zeengqondo ukuze uphephe iziphumo. Umzekelo omhle uthetha nomama wakho, umhlobo osondeleyo okanye omnye umntu onomntu othembekileyo naye. Kule meko, inkxaso iyadingeka. Ukuba umntu akakwazi ukuwufumana, unokufumana utswala njengomncedisi. Kodwa utywala awusombululi iingxaki, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kunokukunceda ukufumana amava amnandi kunye nedumela elibi. Ukongeza, ukuziphatha kwimeko yokuxiliswa akunakwenzeka ukunceda umntu azisole ngokuphuka.
- Xa intlungu yesifo iyancipha, kuya kuza ixesha apho umntu angabonisa khona amandla akhe. Ukuphela kobudlelwane kungabakho ukuqala komjikelezo omtsha ebomini. Into yokuba ukuxinzezeleka okunjalo kuyinjini enamandla yokufumanisa nokuziqonda. Oku kuboniswe kwimimandla eyahlukeneyo: ukutshintsha ingaphakathi lamakhaya abo, ukufunda iilwimi zangaphandle, ukubhala incwadi,
imizobo, njl - Ngethuba lokuqala kobomi obutsha kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ungalibali ngempilo kunye nokubonakala kwayo. Ukususela kamva okanye kamva kuya kuba nethuba lokuqalisa ulwalamano olutsha, ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka uqaphele ukuhlaziywa kwe-wardrobe yakho kunye nekhwele. Ungakulibali ukuba ukumamatheka kuyindlela eqinisekisiweyo yokuphumelela kunye nesimo esihle.
Ukusebenza kwezi ndlela zingentla zixhomekeke, okokuqala, ngomnqweno womntu wokuqonda nokwamkela amava akhe, nantoni. Naluphi na, nangolu hlobo lwesimo esingathandekiyo, kufuneka uqale ukutshintsha isimo sakho sengqondo, uhlalutye iimpazamo zakho. Ukuxolela umntu kunye nokukhululwa kunzima kakhulu, kodwa kuphela oku kuya kunceda ukuphinda uhlalise.