Ukutshatyalaliswa komhlobo ungenye yeziganeko eziyingozi kakhulu. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, kungabonakali ekukhohliseni okanye ukungahambisani. Abantu badla ngokudideka kwaye abazi ukuba ukuxolela umoni emva kwezi ziganeko. Kukho imeko ezinokuxolelwa, kodwa kukho izinto ezingenakuthethelelwa. Wonke umntu makenze isigqibo ngokuzimela. Kodwa kuya kuwe. Kwimeko nayiphi na, musa ukuphikisana, unokucima nje umcingo umntu okanye uhlale unolwazi oluhle.
Ungabuyisela njani intombi intlekele?
Amantombazana amaninzi ayazibuza ukuphindiselela intombi ? Nantsi kuyimfuneko ukuqonda oku kulandelayo. Ukubangela umonakalo komnye umntu, akukho namnye oya kugwetywa. Ngoko imithetho yendalo yonke ihlelwe. Oko uzinikela kwihlabathi langaphandle, uphela nalo. Ngoko zama ukuyeka imeko kwaye uxolele abantu ngengqondo.
Indlela yokusindiswa kokungcatsha komhlobo?
Okokuqala, kufuneka udibanise kunye. Kufuneka uzive ukholo lwakho kunye nenkxaso. Ukuba unqwenela ukuqhubeka nokuthetha nentombi yakho, ngokukhawuleza uya kuziqonda ukuba ngaba unxibelelwano lufanele luxhaswe. Emva koko, kukho iimeko ezahlukeneyo, zama ukuqonda ukuba kutheni intombi leyo yenza oko. Mhlawumbi kukho inxaxheba yecala lakho ngokungcatsha? Ukuba umhlobo ufuna ukuthetha emva kwemfazwe, qiniseka ukumnika eli thuba. Mhlawumbi awuyiqondi kakuhle imeko, nangayiphi na imeko, mamela umntu kwaye uzame ukuqonda ukuba uthembekile nawe.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuxolela ukutshatyalaliswa?
Impendulo ilula - nokuba iyimfuneko. Akuxhomekeke ekubeni uyaqhubeka uthetha nomntu, oku kuyimfuneko kuwe. Uxolelo luhlala lunciphisa umphefumlo kwaye lunike amandla okuqhubela phambili. Mhlawumbi, intombazana yenza iphutha, ngoko kubalulekile ukumnika ithuba lokulungisa yonke into. Emva kwemfazwe, akufanele uhlambele loo mntu rhoqo kwaye ukhumbuze impazamo eyenziwe. Emva koko, wena ngokwakho uya kuqonda ukuba kufuneka uthembele lo mntu. Ngelishwa, ukunyaniseka kunye nokungcatsha kubonakala kakhulu kwixesha lethu, kodwa baninzi abantu abalungileyo nabanyanisekileyo. Zama ukufumana nokuthetha nabo, kwimeko yakho, ngokuqinisekileyo.
Psychology of betrayal
Kubonakala kwizinto eziqhelekileyo zenzeka ngokungazi. Ngamanye amaxesha umthengi akaqapheli ukuba ungumrhwebi, kodwa ukuhlawulwa kwimiba mibini iyafana. Ingxaki yehlabathi lanamhlanje kukuba ekuqaleni sasingaqondi kakuhle ezinye izinto. Ngenxa yoko, abantu benza iimpazamo ezinkulu. Abaninzi bayaziqonda iimpazamo zabo kuphela ekuguga, okubuhlungu kakhulu. Ukutshatyalaliswa komhlobo ongcono kakhulu kukujika, kodwa zama ukujonga imeko, ngakwelinye icala. Mhlawumbi ungafunda kuyo isifundo okanye ucinge ngeenzuzo zakho kuyo. Zama uhlalutye kakuhle imeko. Mhlawumbi ulahlekelwe ngumhlobo osondeleyo, kodwa ngaba kukufanelekile ukucaphukisa ukuba umntu angakulimaza aze amise ubuhlobo?
Ukutshatyalaliswa kwabathandekayo kuhlala kukhotha intlungu. Abantu abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba awukwazi ukuxolela. Enyanisweni, zonke izinto zihambelana. Wena ngokwakho umele ujonge ngenyameko imeko kwaye uzilungiselele wena. Ukuba awukwazi ukujamelana nale nto, kuyaqondakala ukuba uye kwi-psychologist efanelekileyo eya kukunceda uqonde yonke into kwaye ikufundise indlela yokuxolela . Siyathemba ukuba iingcebiso zethu ziyakunceda wenze isigqibo esifanelekileyo.