Singaba neentsapho ezininzi, kodwa abantwana banomdla kunabo bonke, ngoko ukulahleka kwabo kuvakalelwa ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba bahlukane nabanye abantu abasondeleyo. Omnye ucinga ukuba kuyimfuneko ukusinda ekufeni komntwana osandul 'ukuzalwa, njengengqangi, ivula intliziyo. Oomama abaninzi abaye baphumelela kulo vavanyo bathi bangathanda ukunikela ubomi babo, ukuba kuphela umntwana olungile. Kodwa ngokugqithiseleyo, iimvakalelo ziyaphuma, kwaye isibini sinquma umntwana omtsha, ukufumana induduzo kuyo. Ngoko ke, ixesha elinzima kakhulu liya kuba ngumnyaka wokuqala emva kwesiganeko esibuhlungu, xa zonke iimvakalelo zinyanya, kwaye nayiphina isikhumbuzo sokulahlekelwa sisabela ngokubuhlungu.
Abazali bangasinda njani ekufeni komntwana?
Kubantwana sibona ukuqhubeka kwethu, siphupha ngekamva labo, ngoko ukufa komntwana kubonakala ngathi ukulahlekelwa yinxalenye yethu, akulula kubazali bobabini ukuba basinde. Uvavanyo olunjalo lunokuhlukanisa ngonaphakade intsapho, kodwa ukuba abafazi bayayidlulisela ndawonye, akunakwenzeka ukuba bahlukane ngenxa yokungabikho kwamanye amazwe. Mhlawumbi la macebiso alandelayo aya kunceda ukujamelana nentlungu.
- Musa ukulahla nayiphi na imvakalelo yakho, ngamnye kubo uya kulungiswa. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo xa uhlangabezana nosizi, ukwesaba, ulwaphulo-mthetho kunye nomsindo. Kwakukholelwa ukuba kukho izigaba eziliqela umntu ahamba ngazo, ethatha ukulahlekelwa ngabantu abathandekayo, kwaye kwinqanaba ngalinye umva othile. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba iimvakalelo azixhomekeke kuyo nayiphi na imithayimthebhile, ngoko ungazami ukuhlalutya nantoni na, vumkela zonke iimvakalelo zakho. Khumbula ukuba bayalila yonke into ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ngoko musa ukwenza amabango kumlingane, owenza okuhlukileyo kunoko. Makhe aveze iimvakalelo zakhe ngendlela eqhelekileyo.
- Xa ufumene kwaye ukwamkela iimvakalelo ezinzima, zama ukukrazula izinto ezingenakucinceda ezingenakunceda ukuba usinde ubomi obuhlungu, kodwa nje ubenokuluvulela ngamandla amasha. Oku kuvakalelwa yecala okanye intukuthelo (ngokwakho, lakho iqabane okanye oogqirha, abazange benze ngokwaneleyo). Ndikholelwe, wenza okusemandleni akho, ukuba kukho indlela yokuphuma, uya kuyifumana.
- Emva koxinzelelo olunzulu lwengqondo , ixesha lokungxinwa lingafika xa umntu engafuni nantoni na, kwaye konke kwenzeka ngathi ephupheni. Musa ukwesaba loo ngxaki, yinto yemvelo emva kwayo yonke imvavanyo eye yawa kwiqashiso lakho, kunye nexesha eliya kudlula, umzimba wodwa ufuna ixesha lokubuyela.
- Hamba usebenze ngentloko yakho okanye uthathe iholide, cinga ukuba indlela efanelekileyo yokukunceda ubuncinane ukuphazamiseka okuncane ekuhluphekeni. Kodwa musa ukuya emsebenzini kuphela ngenxa yengqiqo yemfanelo, kuba amathuba okuhluleka okukhulu kakhulu, okuya kukwandisa imeko esele ibuhlungu.
- Ukuba ungumntu onokholo, zama ukufumana induduzo elukholweni lwakho. Ewe, loo ntlekele inokugubha kakhulu imibono yakho yonqulo, kodwa mhlawumbi ukwenza imveli yenkcubeko kuya kukunceda. Ukuba awunalo amandla okunamathela kwinkolo yakho, ungaziphoqeleli, thabatha i-breather. Kwaye ungacingi ukuba lo mkhwa wokungcatsha, akukho mntu unokukugweba ngenxa yezenzo ezinjalo.
- Unyaka wokuqala emva kokulahlekelwa yimvakalelo inamandla ngakumbi, ngoko kuzama kweli xesha ukuba ungathathi nantoni na izigqibo ezikhohlakeleyo, linda uze ubuye uphinde ukwazi ukuqiqa.
- Zama ukulibala: ulale ngokwaneleyo, udle ngokuqhelekileyo, uphuze amanzi amaninzi, ungasebenzisi kakubi utywala, kwaye ungathathi amayeza angagunyazisiwe ngugqirha wakho.
- Oomama kunzima kakhulu ukusinda ekufeni komntwana osandul 'umntwana ngaphandle kokuxhasa okunjalo njengokuthetha kunye nezihlobo kunye nabahlobo. Kodwa unokucinga ukuba abanakuyiqonda intlungu yakho, ngoko ukuthetha nabo akuyi kuzisa. Emva kokuvula okunjalo, musa ukuhoxiswa kuwe ngokwakho, funda abanye abantu abanomdla, ngaphandle kwendoda ekwabelana nawe. Thumela kwiifom kunye noluntu olukhethekileyo, apho abantu bafumana induduzo, badibene yintlungu efanayo.
- Fumana indlela yokuhlonela imemori yengane yakho. Yenza i-albhamu kunye neefoto zakhe, ube ngumqhubi wombutho, uncede abantwana baneengxaki ezifanayo ezibangele ukufa komntwana wakho. Khanyisa ikhandlela ngokukhumbuza umntwana wakho kunye nabo bonke abantwana abafileyo.
- Akubona wonke umntu olawula ukuhamba ngale ndlela ngokwabo, ngoko unganqikazi ukuqhagamshelana nomncedisi uncedo, oya kubuza ungcono,
indlela yokusinda ekufeni komntwana. Mhlawumbi nguye oza kufumana amagama aya kukunika ithuba lokuphuma kwimeko yokulila.
Ayaziwa ukuba kunzima ukusinda kuloo ntlekele okanye ukubona indlela abazalwa kunye nabathandekayo abahluphekayo. Ngelishwa, akukho zindlela ezininzi zokusinda ekufeni komntwana omncinane. Singaba ngumntu ongu-interlocutor olungeleyo ukwabelana nentlungu yokulahleka. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kunokwenzeka ukucebisa into ethile (umzekelo, ukubonisana neengcali), kodwa oku kufuneka kwenziwe ngokucophelela, kuba umntu onomvandalo akanakwenzeka ukuba acinge ngokucokisekileyo, kwaye uya kusebenza phantsi kwefuthe leemvakalelo.