Ndicetyiswa ukuqala kwesinye isiphelo - ukugcina amandla kunye nexesha lakho. Njengoko iingqondo zengqondo zithi, uzama ukufumana umntu ukuba atshate, ngezinye iimeko, akunakwenzeka. Izimpawu ezingenakunokwenzeka ukuba u-o-o-o-chen kude nombono womtshato zilandelayo:
- Uqala ukukhwehlela, xa incoko ihamba kule shaneli, kwaye itshintshe isihloko ngokuxakeka okumangalisayo.
- Xa uthe, ngokungaqhelekanga kwaye ngokubanzi, ngomtshato, uxelela ukuba akayiboni kwixesha elizayo, kwaye ukuba usemncinci kakhulu ukuba ...
- Ufuna ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabahlobo bakhe. Yithenge iisethi zamasold, kwaye ushiye umntwana wedwa - makabe adlala aze akhule.
- Akakuxeleli kwintsapho yakhe, nangona uhlangene iminyaka emi-2, kwaye ugwema ukuqhelana nabazali bakho, njengoMtyholi weqhumiso.
- Uvakalisa amahlaya angenangqondo kunye neentlonelo malunga nabahlobo bakhe abatshatileyo nabahlobo.
Uyenza ntoni na?
Kwaye makhe sibone indlela onokuyenza ngayo ukuba awuyikunyanzelisa umntu ukuba atshade naye emva kwenyanga emva kokuba uyazi, ngoko ubuncinane umqhube kwingcamango enjalo.
- Musa ukumnika ingcamango yomntu owamthiya. Cinga ngokwakho ukuba budenge ukulindela ukuba ngokuziphatha okunjalo uya kumenza atshate. Akukho mntu oqhelekileyo akayi kufuna ukungcola kunye nomfazi ophezu kwentloko ebomini bakhe bonke kunye neengxaki ezinjengokuthi: "Bonke abantu banobuhlungu!".
- Musa ukuziphawula kwintetho yentombazana engenakukhunjulwa, inkululeko yokuthetha, inomdla omkhulu wothando kunye namakhulu amaqhawe afayo kuwo wonke uthando olungathandabuzekiyo kuzo zonke iindawo zokuhlala. Ukuba ebona ukuba akanakukuthemba, umbuzo wendlela yokufumana lo mfana ukutshata naye uya kuhlala elele emoyeni ... kakuhle, iminyaka emininzi!
- Bonisa intlonelo kwiintsapho zakhe kunye nabahlobo bakhe (nangona udibana nabo ngokukrakra okukhulu!), Ekubeni eli lixesha elide libonakaliswa ngabafazi ngendlela yokufumana umntu ukuba atshade naye. Ukubonakalisa ukuba ubona ngokuqinisekileyo abantu abasondelene naye, inqamle indlela eya kwi-intanethi yokubambisana iyomelele kunanoma yini enye.
- Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ufuna ukuphoqeleka umntu ukuba atshade naye, akakho nakweyiphi na into ayifanele ukucinga ngomtshato njengesiphelo ngokwayo. Akukho mntu uya kuthanda ukuziva ephangi ezandleni zomzingeli emva kwesikhumba. Ngokuphambene noko, mkhuthaze ngengcamango yokuba ithemba lomtshato likhangela entloko yakho ngenxa yokuba uyamthanda.
- Ngokufanayo, ungazakheli ulahlekelwe kwaye unqwenele - ngokuchaseneyo, bonisa ukuzinza nokuzithemba. Yiyo le mpawu yowesifazane ozayo okhangayo indoda.
- Mbonise ukuba ubomi kunye nawe buya kuzaliswa yimimangaliso. Sitshintsha imbonakalo yakho, fumana izinto ezithandekayo ezithandekayo uze umxelele ngazo. Ndingayenza njani enye into yokuba ndiyitshatile, ngaphandle kokumgcina engxakini? Ukuvakalelwa kwezicwangciso eziqhelekileyo kunye nezicatshulwa kwiinkulungwane ezalandelayo zimgxeka wonke umntu, ngoko wenze ukukhanya okufutshane, ukunyanyiswa kwezilwanyana emlonyeni wakho.
- Musa ukukhalaza ngokungapheliyo, ungabi nantoni kwaye ungambonisi ukunganeliseki kwakho ngento ethile. Ukususela kwinqanaba elithile, lonke liqala ukuvakala njengerekhodi egugile, ixesha lokuliphosa. Ukulandela isitya kwinqwelo kunokulandela ngokuzenzekelayo kunye nombuzo wendlela yokwenza ukuba akutshatile.
- Ngomlinganiselo onengqiqo, mmelele kwiingxaki zakhe, kwaye makamve ukuba unokuthembela kuwe. Ukuba uhlala ukhangelekile kunye nobunzima bakho nendlela yokumtshata, ekugqibeleni uza kukhangela enye indoda endaweni yomtshato.
- Funda ubuncinane into yokupheka, ngaphandle koko umntu uza kuqala njani ifama kunye nawe?
- Njani? Ngaba ucinga ngexesha lethu lokwenza umntu atshate intombazana engakwazi ukuhlawula iindleko kwihostela yakhe okanye ukutyhola ingubo yakhe yasebusika? Ngaba uzimelele ngokwezoqoqosho? Ukuba akunjalo, kha wuleza!
- Akunakuze - nakanjani! - ungazibuza isithunzi sakhe somntu, kwaye ungamthobeliyo ngasese okanye kuluntu. Oku kwamkelekanga!
Jonga into oyithethayo ngexesha lempikiswano. Oku akunakubuyiselwa!
Iinqwelo ezinamandla
Ukuba uzamile konke oku ngasentla, nombuzo wendlela yokumtshata naye, kwaye uhlale ungenayo impendulo, zama ukulandela oku kulandelayo:
- Umgama omncinane ukusuka kuwo, ukhetha njengesisusa esikhulu somthwalo womsebenzi, okanye uzenzele olunye uhambo kunye nentombi yakho. Kanti unako, yenza i-aura encinci yezinto ezifihlakeleyo kuyo yonke imicimbi yakho, uyichukumise ukuba ufuna ixesha lokucinga ngobomi bakho ngokubanzi. Konke oku kufanele kummise - inyaniso, kuphela xa ekuthandayo.
- Ukuba, emva kwayo yonke into, edlala inxalenye yesiTshayina engaqondi isiRashiya, mxelele ngokucacileyo ukuba kwiinyanga ezizayo kufuneka anqume ukuba ulungele ukwenza uqhagamshelo lwakho. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ubeka i-ultimatum, kufuneka ulungele ukuyilandela. Ngoko cingisisa ngale nto. Ukuba uzama ukufumana indlela yokufumana le ndoda ukutshata iminyaka emithathu kwaye ulindela isinyathelo esinzulu kuye, awunayo iminyaka emithathu eyishiywe ukuba ungayinceda - kwakhona ukuba uyisebenzise ngokulindela ngaphandle. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba buhlungu nokuba buhlungu kangakanani kuwe, zama ukuqonda oku: ukuba akayi kukhetha ukuba uyintombazana yamaphupha akhe, mhlawumbi awukho! Kodwa, kwimeko enjalo, kutheni ukuze akufune?
- Iingcamango zesimo sokungazilungeleli ubudlelwane obunzulu ngenxa yobunzima bezoqoqosho, asinaso isizathu esibi.
Ubunzima obunjalo buye kwaye buza kuba njalo, kodwa akukho mntu uzimisele ngokucacileyo ukwabelana ngobomi bakhe kunye nomfazi othile, akahlali esilindele ixesha apho ekugqibeleni, uya kuba ngumgidi-mali. Kwaye ukuba le ndoda ifuna ukufumana indlela yokuphuma, uyifumana nje.
Kubuhlungu, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukuba umhlobo wakho atshade naye ngamanye amaxesha. Saqala ngokugqithiselwa kweengqondo zeengqondo, kwaye siphela kunye neengxelo zeenkcukacha. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu wenza isipho kumntu akhethiweyo iminyaka eyi-1.5 ukususela kumhla wobaziyo - okanye akenzi nhlobo.