Nabani na umntu onokuqonda ukuba ngaphandle kwempikiswano, ukungavumelani kunye nokuhlambalaza, akukho mtshato omnye ongenakwenza. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba ingxubusho encinci yanciphisa intsapho kakuhle kwaye iyaqhubeka ide enye yomtshato iqhubekile kwaye ayiyi kufaka umtshato. Ngoko ungathini ukujongana nesiphumo esinjalo, indlela yokugcina uthando emtshatweni?
Ngaba kufanelekile ukugcina umtshato?
Xa ubudlelwane emshadweni akusayi kubuyisa uvuyo, umbuzo wendlela yokugcina umtshato usekelwe kakuhle. Emva kwakho konke, into eyakugcina ixesha elininzi kunye, ayikwazi ukuba yonke imvakalelo ibonakale. Kodwa nangaphambi kokuba uqalise umsebenzi ekusebenziseni imingxuma yobomi bentsapho yakho, kufuneka uzibuze umbuzo, kodwa kufuneka ugcine umtshato? Ngenxa yokuba kukho izinto ezenza kube nzima ukuhlala nomyeni. Zonke ezi zihlandlo zihluke: umntu akakwazi ukuxolela ukutshatyalaliswa, umntu akakwazi ukuhlala nendoda engenako ukubonelela ngemeko yezemali eziyimfuneko, kwaye umntu akayidingi indoda, ehlala ephele emsebenzini, apho abantwana bahlala besesithombeni kubona ngaphandle kwekhaya. Zibonele ukuba uya kukwazi ukudibanisa kunye neempawu zobume bomlingane okanye sele sele ufike kwi-brink ngaphaya apho kungabikho ukuphazamiseka kuya kunceda.
Ngokuqhelekileyo abafazi bathi bahlala nabayeni babo ngenxa yabantwana. Ngoko akudingeki ukuba - umntwana, ngokuqinisekileyo, ubaba uyadingeka, kodwa abazali abahlaziyiweyo, ubanda, ukungabi nhlonipho kwintsapho kunye nezinye izinto ezimbi aziyi kwenza. Cinga ngendlela eya kukhula ngayo xa umntwana usuka kwindawo yokulala ejikeleza kuphela okubi. Ungabhekisela kwinto yokuba umntwana akayi kukhupha, kwaye uhlale nomyeni wakhe. Kodwa oku akuyiyo ingxabano - kukho izalamane eziza kukunceda, kwaye wena ngokwakho awunamandla. Ukuxhatshazwa wena kunye nomntwana ngemali (kungekhona into yokuba umyeni wakhe uza kuzisa ekhaya, kungekhona kwindlovukazi yakhe) - ayikho into enhle.
Ungasindisa njani umtshato emva kokungcatsha komyeni wakhe?
Kwabafazi abathile, ukungathembeki komlingani akuvumelekanga, kwaye ukuba bafumanisa ngemikhankaso "yomshiya" yomyeni, ngoko isicelo sokuqhawula umtshato sithunyelwa ngaphandle kokulibala. Kwaye abanye besetyhini bacinga ukuba basindise njani umtshato emva kokukhwabanisa, kuba bayamthanda umyeni wakhe kwaye balungele ukumxolela yonke into. Kodwa ukulondolozwa kobudlelwane emva kokungabikho kokungahambi kakubi kumagxa abo bobabini bomtshato.
- Naluphina unxibelelwano nenkosikazi kufuneka luyeke. Amanye amadoda enezinyembezi emehlweni abo athi omnye, ngoku umhlobo wabo omhle. Apha ungaphendula kuphela into enye - kufuneka ucinge ngaphambili, xa umhlobo wakho edibene kwi-bunk.
- Kunzima ukuphulaphula ukukhohlisa, kodwa kuyimfuneko. Kuya kuba ngcono kuwe, ukuba uyayiqonda isizathu sokuba indoda ilandele enye ibhinqa. Ukunyaniseka kwakhe ngokupheleleyo kuya kukunceda ukuba wenze "ukusebenzela iimpazamo".
- Ewe, ukungcatshiswa kwendoda akuyiyo kuphela isiphumo sakhe (isithandwa ngokwenene asithandanga), iziphene zakho nazo. Oku uyeke ukuthabatha kuye, "zapilili", ephawulwe ngononophelo.
- Ngaphandle kokuxolelwa kokulondoloza umtshato, akukho mbuzo. Ukuba awukwazi ukulibala umthetho wendoda yakho, awukwazi ukuba kunye.
Indlela yokugcina uthando kumtshato?
- I-Euphoria honeymoon ayiyi kuba nexesha lokuphuma, njengoko uya kuba neebango kunye nezihlandlo zokuxabana. Into ephambili akuyikubavumela ukutshabalalisa umtshato wakho - ngenxa yezinto ezithile imbono yabatshatileyo ingaba yinto eyahlukileyo, kuyinto eqhelekileyo, abantu abanemibono yehlabathi efana nje ayikho. Ukuba unemibono eyahlukileyo kwixesha eliphambili lobomi, ngoko umtshato awunakwenzeka.
- Umfazi, ngokuqinisekileyo, kufuneka abukeke kakuhle kwaye achithe ixesha, kodwa nantoni na umntu idinga isidleke esilula. Yaye ukuba, emva kokubuya ekhaya evela emsebenzini ngokuhlwa, umyeni uya kudibana nomfazi wakhe onamakhwenkwe kunye nama-noodle angxamisekileyo, ngoko ukubonakala kwakhe okumangalisayo kungekudala kungekudala ukukholisa.
- Yiya kwelinye icala - umgcini oyingcwele wentsapho yekhaya ayinakukwazi. Ukuba awuboni nantoni na ngaphandle kweengxaki zekhaya, emva kwexesha, ukuqonda umyeni wakho osebenzayo kuya kuba nzima. Iingxaki zomsebenzi wakhe aziyi kukukhathaza, kodwa wonke umntu
Ukufika ngokukhawuleza kwendoda ekhaya kuya kuqondwa nguwe kungengenxa yomsebenzi kwindawo yokusebenzela, kodwa ngokungathembeki kweqabane lakho. Uya kuba yintombazane-hen, ngubani onothando lwakhe kunye nokunyamekela uya kukhangela umyeni wakhe, akayi kumvumela ukuba enze isinyathelo esisodwa esizimeleyo. Akukho mntu unokunyamezela eso simo sengqondo. - Emtshatweni, akukho mntu uhlawula nantoni na. Uhlala kunye kuba ungcono kunokuba yedwa. Ulungiselela isidlo somyeni wakho, ubelethe abantwana bakhe, ngoko ke uya kubazisa ngenxa yokuba ufuna yona. Kwaye ke uyazibhokoxa emsebenzini, uzama ukubonelela intsapho kungekhona ngenxa yemisebenzi engcwele, kodwa kuba ufuna.