Ngamanye amaxesha, emva kokuthatha isigqibo sokwenza inxaxheba nomntu othandayo, uyaqhubeka udibana naye, udibana kunye aze ahlale naye ngesondo. Ufanelana nabaninzi, kwaye bawubiza ngobudlelwane obukhululekile, ngoxa abanye bafuna ukuyeka ukuthetha nomntu wokuqala ngaphambili okanye bonke, okanye ngokuchaseneyo, ukuba bahlale behlobo naye. Ukuze ukwazi ukuyiqonda okanye cha, kufuneka uqwalasele inketho nganye.
Yintoni enokuyenza emva kokuhlukana?
Ukuba ube nethuba lokucinga malunga nento yonke uze wenze ezinye izigqibo, emva kwangoko emva kokuphuka kobudlelwane, ungabandakanyi nayiphi na inxibelelwano nomntu owayesithandayo. Emva kwekhefu, uya kuqonda ukuba ufuna ukuthetha nomntu ongaphambili okanye ulungele ukuthetha naye okokuqala nangoko. Ukuba waqhekeka ngaphandle kokugxeka kunye nenzondo, kwaye ngezinye iinkcukacha ufumanisa ukuba awukho endleleni, ngoko awuyidingi nayiphi na intlanganiso, ingxoxo kunye nezinto ezinjalo. Ukuba awuyikubeka ingqalelo kwixesha elidlulileyo, ubuhlobo obutsha abukwazi ukubonakala ebomini bakho.
Ngaba ubuhlobo bunokwenzeka?
Ngamanye amaxesha ulwalamano luphela ukuze amaqabane ahlale engumhlobo, kodwa ngaba kukho ubungqina bobuhlobo obunjalo kwaye ubude obunjalo buza kuhlala bude kangakanani. Ngokwenene, ngobudlelwane obunobuntu omnye umntu unobungane, kwaye omnye uqhubeka emthanda kwaye nguye lo yedwa ithuba, ukuba angayi kulahlekelwa nomntu othandekayo. Kule meko, inokwenzeka ukuba, akukho buhlobo aluyi kusebenza, alukho uthando okanye uthando. Ngokukodwa ngokubonakala kwesithandwa esitsha kwenye yezithandwa zangaphambili, umona ubonakala kubudlelwane, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kufuneka ukhethe uthando okanye ubungane nomntu owayengumthandi. Ngokubanzi, ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva ubuhlobo obunjalo buya kuphela.
Phakathi kwakho kukho into efanayo
Ngamanye amaxesha, ngaphandle kokuthanda ubudlelwane, unamathele kwezinye iindawo zobomi, kunokuthi, umzekelo, umsebenzi okanye ishishini elifanayo. Kubalulekile ukuba uvumelane ngokuzinzileyo kwaye uhlale phantsi "kwitheyibhile yokuxoxisana", ukuze ungalahlekelwa yinto eqhubekayo ixesha elide. Ukuba awunakho izikhalazo, zonke izinto ziya kuvela, kwaye ukuhlala kunye nomnye kuya kuba mncinci, kwaye into ephambili kukugcina isizathu esifanayo. Ukuba ubumbene nomntwana, kuya kufuneka uzinyanzele ukuthetha nomntu osetshentshiweyo kumntu oqhelekileyo kumntwana wakho. Emva koko, umntwana ufanelwe ukuba unomama noyise abamthandayo.
Ubuhlobo Bamahala
Ngamanye amaxesha kukho izibini ezithe zahlukana, kodwa ngamaxesha onke zidibana ukuba zilale ngesondo. Le yimeko emibini. Ngaphezu koko, ukuba indoda yangaphambili iyazi kakuhle iminqweno yakho neminqweno kwaye inokuyolisa, kodwa ukuxhatshazwa kobudlelwane obunjalo kubaluleke kakhulu. Ubundlobongela kunye ne-ex akuyi kukunika ithuba lokuqala olunye ulwalamano kwaye ufumane uthando olutsha. Ngokwezibalo, umonde phakathi kwabathandana nabo bangaphakama emva kweenyanga ezine emva kwekhefu. Ngokuqhelekileyo ubuhlobo obunjalo buvelisa amava amasha kunye namahlazo. Emva kobusuku obuqhwithiyo kunye nomntu owayengumthandi, ukukhumbula iimpikiswano kunye neentlanzi ziza kuphinda zibuye, kwaye uya kuziva utyhafile.
Kodwa kukho ukungafani, kwakhona kwakhona intlanganiso, amaqabane, bayaqonda ukuba benza iphutha elikhulu,
Yintoni ekupheleni?
Kubalulekile ukuyeka kwaye uqonde oko ufuna ukufumana ebomini kunye nobudlelwane nabangaphambili. Ukuba uyamthanda, ngoko uthetha naye ngenye indlela iintlanganiso ngezihlandlo ziza kubangela intlungu nokuhlupheka. Kungcono ukuva ubunzima, ugula kwaye ufake ifowuni enamanqaku kula manqaku. Kuphela ngale ndlela ungaya kuzo, uphumle kwaye uzinciphe. Siyabulela oku, uya kuba ulungele ukuhlangabezana nothando olutsha, iimvakalelo ezintsha kunye nolwalamano olutsha nolonwabo.