Xa usandul 'uva, ngaba ngabazali abavuyayo be-sweet crumb, kwaye namhlanje ufumene ukuba isidalwa sakho silwa nawo wonke umntu kwaye siphikisana nawe? Akuyimfuneko ukulila i-alamu phambi kwexesha. Ngeli nqanaba lobundlobongela, bonke abantwana baya kudlula emhlabeni. Umsebenzi oyintloko kukufumanisa oko kwabangela umntwana ukuba alume aze alwe. Kwaye siya kuzama ukwenza oku nawe.
Kutheni umntwana elwa?
Ngethuba lokuqala lijongene nobudlova kumntwana wabo, abazali abaninzi abanakuqwalasela ngokukhawuleza le ngxaki. Kunabo bonke abazali abafana nethemba lokukhula ukusuka kumntwana obuthathaka obengazi indlela yokuzimela. Kodwa xa kukhwaza, ukubetha kunye nokubetha kuqala ukuqina nokunyuka, izizathu zokuvuya ziba zikhulu. Ngokukodwa xa umntwana elwa kungekhona kwiredi kunye noontanga, kodwa kunye nabazali bakhe. Siza kuhlalutya ezinye zeemeko eziqhelekileyo ukuba siqonde ukuba kutheni umntwana omncinci ukulwa kunye nendlela yokumnqumla kulo msebenzi.
1. Ukulwa phakathi kwabantwana. Le ngxaki ingaqwalaselwa emibini kwintendelezo yendlu yakho nakwi-kindergarten. Ukuba ufunde ngobudlova obusana bakho kubantu abangabaziyo, oogogo, oomama okanye abanakekeli, kubalulekile ukuthetha nalabo babengqina ngokumalunga nokulwa. Emva koko mamela inguqu yomntwana wakho. Ukuba umntwana wakho uchaza ngokucacileyo isizathu sokuba lo mkhosi uqalile, ngoko mhlawumbi ulungile. Kodwa ukuba uyaphawula ukuba uyangena kwaye akayi kunika impendulo eqondayo, ngoko akazange azi ukuba kwenzeke ntoni, kwaye akazange anikezele ngokufanelekileyo imeko. Kwixesha lokufunda esikolweni, nawuphi na umntwana ulwa izizathu ezibini:
- amandla okubonakalisa amandla;
- umnqweno wokutsala umdla okanye ufune ukuphendula.
Kuzo zombini iimeko, sithetha ngeendlela ezikhethiweyo zokulungiswa kwintlalo. Ikheyibhile ekhethiweyo, indlela yokuzikhusela kwiontanga nezinye izizathu ezininzi imihla ngemihla ibangela umntwana ukuba asebenzise isibonelelo samandla akhe. Indlela yokululela umntwana ukuba alwe kule ngxaki? Ukuba umntwana wakho waqala ukukhalazela ngenxa yobundlobongela bakhe, kufuneka uqaphele oku kwaye uzame ukufumanisa oko wayefuna ukukufezekisa ngoncedo lokulala. Cacisa umntwana ukuba ufuna ukuphatha iintshaba zakho ngokwahlukileyo. Kodwa, akukho mzekelo ungamgxeka umntwana, ngaphandle koko uya kufumana uluhlu lwakhe lweentshaba. Kwaye kubhetele - bhalela umntwana kwicandelo lezemidlalo, ukuze amandla akhe aye kwindlela yokuthula.
2. Umntwana ulwa nabazali bakhe. Oku kwenzekayo malunga nentsapho nganye. Ukuba uye waba lixhoba lokuhlaselwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngamanqindi namazinyo, landela oko bakuyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo isizathu sokuba umntwana omncinci alwe nezihlobo nguye impendulo kwintlungu. Ukuba abazali bayamemeza umntwana, bamgxeke, bajezise okanye baphathe ngokugqithiseleyo nganye yezenzo zakhe, ngoko iimpendulo eziqhelekileyo zomntwana ziya kuba yi-kulaks nje. Isizathu sesibini kukuba nayiphi na ukulwa nezihlobo kubonwa ngumntwana njengomdlalo. Lapha wabetha umntu osondeleyo, elandelwa ngumsindo, iinyembezi, ukuxolelana kunye nokumanga komhlobo. Kwaye inkunzi imfutshane ngokuphindaphindiweyo yenza iinjongo ezifanayo ukuqonda ukuba yintoni impendulo yabantu abadala abakulungile. Njengomthetho, oku kwenzeka ngexesha lomncinci, xa umntwana engazange azi ukuba kubangela ubuhlungu kubazali. Ngaloo mzekelo, kululela njani, umzekelo, umntwana oneminyaka elilodwa ukulwa? Zama ukungabi nolaka kumntwana. Iinzame zakhe zokukubetha, zimmise ngokuthula, ngaphandle komsindo omnye. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuziphatha kwezizalwane ezizungezile. Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana ushaya unina, kufuneka ahambe ngokuthula aze ambonise ukuba uyalimaza,
3. Impembelelo engebiyo yeekhathuni kunye ne-TV- esinye isizathu, isiphumo sokuthi umntwana ulwa. Yintoni enokuyenza kule meko? Njengomthetho, inkunzi iqondisa ulwaphulo lwayo wonke umntu, yonke into yakhe yintshatshazo. Umntwana ngokwakhe uchaza izenzo zakhe nje: "Ndiyingozi." Oku kwenzeka phantsi kweempembelelo zabalingani beentlobo zeendlovu kunye neekhathuni. Akuyimfuneko ukuba umthintele ngokupheleleyo umntwana ukuba abukele oko akuthandayo. Kodwa kuyimfuneko kakhulu ukufundisa umntwana ukuba ahlukanise phakathi kokulungileyo nokubi aze amchazele ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba kubi nabanye.
Umntwana wokhuselo ngumcimbi onokulungiswa ngokukhawuleza. Ingqondo yengane eguquguqukayo iyakwazi ukulungiswa nawuphi na ukulungiswa. Umsebenzi oyedwa kunye oyintloko wabazali ukufumana umonde nokufundisa umntwana ukuba achaze iimvakalelo zakhe ezingekho phantsi kwimeko efanelekileyo kunye nekhuselekileyo.