Izinketho zokuphendula umbuzo othi kutheni ndingatshatanga baninzi. Siza kuxubusha abambalwa bezona zifanelekileyo kakhulu ukuya kumhla. Kule meko, asiyi kuqwalasela ukubonakala kwendoda, ngenxa yokuba ibhinqa elithandekayo kwaye liphumelelayo lihlala lingatshatanga kuze kube yile minyaka.
Kutheni bangatshati?
Isizathu esona sizathu sokuba intombazana okanye intombazana ingakwazi ukutshata ngumntu ophantsi kwayo. Kodwa ukuhluka kwesimo sengqondo esinqumlekileyo sinokwahlukana ngamaqela amaninzi:
- Amava angaphumelelanga kubomi bentsapho yabazali, abamelwane, abahlobo, ngokubanzi, indawo engqongileyo ivalwe ngokuzenzekelayo ukuqonda komfazi wesiganeko somtshato onokuvuya. Olu loyiko lubangalisa abantu kumgangatho weemvakalelo.
- Iimfuno ezigqithisileyo kumfaki sicelo ngendima yendoda ezayo - esinye isizathu sokuba kungenakwenzeka ukuba athathatile. Ukuze kulungiswe le ngxaki, ibhinqa kufuneka iphakamise kumgangatho weemfuno zayo ngokuziphatha, kwentlalo nangokwezesondo, okanye ukunciphisa ibha yeemfuneko ukuya kumgangatho ophantsi.
- Ukungakhuselekanga ngamandla abo, ukubonakala kwabo, izakhono kunye nekhono lokusongela abaqhubi abanakho. Abafazi abathandekayo, baqonde, de uze ufunde ukuzithanda, akukho mntu uya kukuthanda. Yaye ungamangalisi kwaye uzibuze imihla ngemibuzo umbuzo wokuba andinako ukutshata xa kusasa ekuseni kwisibuko uzijonga kuzo zonke iziphene ezintsha.
- Kwakhona akunakwenzeka ukutshata kwala mabhinqa abaye baxhalabiseka xa bexhatshazwa ngaphambili okanye ubundlobongela bezocwangciso kunye nokuziphatha ngokwesini kubantu ngexesha elithile lobomi babo. Umfazi onjalo kuwo wonke umntu omtsha ulindele olunye uthabatha kwaye yena ngokwakhe uhombisa ubudlelwane obusandul 'ukuvela kwindlela eyahlukileyo.
- Amanye amadoda ayethusa ngenxa yokunyamezela komfazi osemtshatweni. Okanye ngokuthe tye, ukuthozama kwamabhinqa kunye neemvakalelo ezifihlakeleyo zikhokelela umntu ukuba angene. Ungazi iminqweno yakho, akwazi nje ukuba wenzeni kwaye intombazana ayikwazi ukutshata.
Kwiyiphi na le meko kunye nezinto ezinjalo, kunokuphela kwendlela ephuma ngayo: okokuqala utshintshe wena kunye nombono wakho wehlabathi, thintela ukuphepha ulwalamano olunzulu olufunayo, kwaye uya kumangaliswa ukuba imeko iya kutshintsha kangakanani.