Nsuku zonke uva iindumiso ezivela kwisini esomeleleyo, zibamba ukubukeka kwazo. Ngaphezu koko, ezinye i-daredevils ziya kuzama ukubonelela ngempawu. Kakade, nawuphi na umfazi uyavuya, kodwa ngaba wakha wacinga ngemeko yeso sizathu sithandwa ngabantu? Ukuba kuthi, amantombazana, oku kuphakamisa ukuzithemba kwaye kuqinisekisile ukukhanga kwayo, ngoko ke yintoni eyona nto yokujonga ngothando abantu?
Kuthetha ukuthini ukudlala ngothando okanye ukunyaniseka kwengqondo?
Ukudlala ngothando luhlobo lwenxibelelwano. Le nto ayikho nje indlela yokuzonwabisa kwaye ayikho into yokuzonwabisa ngesondo. Ngamanye amazwi, ngoncedo lwamagama, ukubonakalisa ubuso, ukuziphatha, umntu owenza umfutho, ngaloo ndlela ufezekisa ukuziphatha. Ukuba sithetha ngokubanzi ngengcamango yokugqibela, ngoko kukuzalisekisa iimfuno zomntu. Njengoko i-psychologist eyaziwayo u-Eric Berne ubhala encwadini yakhe ethi "Imidlalo ekudlalwa ngabantu," ngamnye kuthi ufuna ukunyamekela nokufudumala kwabanye abantu, kwaye ngaphandle kwezinye, nathi ngokwabo sinomnqweno onamandla wokunika umntu isisa, unakekele kwaye "ukubetha" okunjalo kuyimfuneko kubo bonke abantu. Ukubuyela kwisihloko soluhlobo lokudlala ngothando, sifumana ukuba lo nxi
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ukudlala ngothando akulona umzamo wokunyanzeliswa, kulo mzekelo ngabantu, akunakwenzeka ukudonsa ibhinqa elele. Ukuba kunjalo, ngoko sijongene neloli, kwaye le nto ihluke ngokupheleleyo.
Kutheni amadoda edlala ngothando nabanye?
Yintoni endingayithethayo, kodwa amaninzi amaninzi afuna ukuqonda umfana wothando. Ngokukhawuleza ukuba lo mfana uzama ukumelana nomlingo kunye nawe, i-winks kuwe, ukumemeza, ngoko, uzama ukunyanzela. Into ebangel 'umdla kukuba ngexesha lokudlala ngothando, onke amadoda aselula aphishekela injongo efanayo.
Ngoko, amadoda amaninzi, atshatiweyo, akathandanga nje, athanda, ayancoma ukunyanisana nomntu wonke. Bavame ukubonisa iitalente zabo, iingqiqo, ukukhwabanisa kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, ukukhawuleza ekuhambeni konke ukunxibelelana nentombazana. Ngaphezu koko, emva kokumiselwa koqhagamshelwano olubonakalayo, olo nxi Ngaloo ndlela, abantu abaselula bazama ukubonisa umdla kubo. Kwabesilisa, ukudlala ngothando kuhlobo lomdlalo, inkunzi ifuna ukuthatha ingqalelo yabesifazane. Unomdla wokugcina udibaniselwano nomfazi ngokukhawuleza ukuba kuye kuyincwadi enesiqingatha-efihliweyo ezele imfihlelo kunye neemfihlelo.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufuna ukucima ngokujulile, sifunda ukuba umkhuba oqhelekileyo wokudlala ngothando kunye nabasetyhini abajikelezayo ngumnqweno wokuzalisa ukungena ngaphakathi, ukwandisa ukuzithemba kwabo. Kodwa le ndlela yokuxazulula iingxaki zabantu ziqale ukulahleka. Kuphela ekuxazululeni iingxaki zabo, ngokucwangcisa ngokufanelekileyo umxokelelwano wokufezekiswa komntwana, umntu unokuba ngumntu onelaneleyo, ukuphumelela ngokwezemali kunye nentlalo, ukuzithemba kuye ngokwakhe kunye neenjongo zakhe.
Kuthiwani ukuba umyeni uzalisa nabanye?
Indlela yokulondoloza ulonwabo lwentsapho, iimvakalelo zangaphambili zomlingane, xa ungazi nje,
- Impumelelo yobudlelwane, kwindawo yokuqala, kuxhomekeke ekuziphatheni kwabasetyhini, ngoko ke akuyimfuneko ukulungelelanisa izithandane zintanda kunye nokwenza utshaba lwakhe luphume kuyo.
- Musa ukulibala ukuba emva komntu onamandla ungumfazi onothando. Zama ukuqonda ukuba amacala akhe ambi azama ukulungisa ngothando ngabantu.
- Kwaye, mhlawumbi, uyeka ukuzikhathalela? Nsuku zonke udibana naye kumsebenzi omnye kunye kwaye awuzange utshintshe isimbo seenwele zakho ixesha elide? Cinga ngako.