Izixhobo zonxibelelwano phakathi kwentsha kunye nabantu abadala
Umntwana osemncinci uzele ukuphikisana kunye nokuchasana. Umoya uguquka, ukhathazeka, ukunyamekela kwabo, ukubonakala kwabo kunye nokucinga kwabo ngabanye, imvakalelo, umnqweno wokuba "njengabo bonke abantu" kwaye kungekhona ngokumangalisayo ukudibanisa nokuzikhukhumeza, ukukhwabanisa, umnqweno wokuphikisa imithetho esekelwe kunye ne-axioms, ukuphuma kwisihlwele. Ngeli xesha, yonke imigaqo yokuziphatha nemibono ebomini iphinda ibuyiselwe kwakhona, kwaye kunye nabantwana abathobelayo nabangumzekelo abangabantwana banokuthi bangabi ngabantwana abangenakubekezelelana nabangenasiphelo. Abazali abaninzi banengxaki ngaphandle kokukwazi ukuthetha nomntwana onzima, kwaye kwezinye zeemeko ezinzima kakhulu, iingxabano ezaqala ngelo xesha zikhula kwaye ziqhubeka iminyaka emininzi, zahlula intsapho kwaye zilahla amalungu ayo ithuba lokuhlala ngokuthula nangokuvisisana. Iintsholongwane zinamahloni kwaye ngexesha elifanayo lihlazi (ikakhulukazi libonisa), kwaye ngeli thuba, unxibelelwano kwintsapho luhlala ludla. Makhe sicinge ngendlela yokufundisa umntwana ukuba athethe.
Indlela yokuthetha kunye nendodana yomntwana oselula?
- Hlonipha izimvo zakhe nezimvo.
- Ungazami ukuyilawula kuyo yonke into.
- Ukuyigcina ngomzamo wokujonga kakuhle. Unyana wakho ufunda ukwakha ubudlelwane kunye namantombazana kunye nomsebenzi wakho kukumnceda ngale nto. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ukhangele iintombi zakhe okanye ubeke izimvo malunga nokubonakala kunye nokuziphatha kwazo zonke iintombi zakhe eziqhelekileyo. Mncedise ukuba azive ethembele.
- Makhe akhethe abahlobo bakhe. Ukuba ubona ukuba wawela phantsi kwefuthe lenkampani engathandekiyo, musa ukumxelela ukukhusela kwakho kwifom yeqela, ungakuvumeli ukuba ubone abahlobo - oku kuya kubandakanya ukukhusana nokuhlukana kwonyana kuwe. Ukuchasiswa uza kufezekisa into eyodwa kuphela - unyana uya kukufihla kuwe "ababi" nabahlobo. Ngokuvisisanayo, akunakwenzeka ukuba ngulokho ukulwela.
Indlela yokuthetha nentombi yentombazana?
- Ungamvumeli ukuba agqoke kwaye atyende indlela afuna ngayo. Uncedo olungcono lwakhe lokufunda indlela yokukhetha izambatho kunye nokwenza. Iintsholongwane zithatha ukungahlolisisi ukubonakala kwazo kunye nomsebenzi wakho kukunceda intombi yakho yamkele kwaye iyakuthanda.
- Mamela uluvo lwakhe, ungamkeli iingcamango zakhe okanye iingcebiso ngaphandle kokuqiqa ngokufanelekileyo.
- Gwema ulawulo oluqinileyo - isiqhamo esinqatshelwe sithandeka, kwaye abantwana abakwishumi elivisayo banokukwenza konke ngokungahambisani nemiyalelo.
- Gweba izahlulelo ezingalunganga ("jongeka kakhulu", "wenza konke okuchasene nathi", "uziphatha kakubi"). Ukuvakalisa iingcamango zakho "Ndi-izigwebo" ("Ndiyakhathazeka kakhulu ngokuziphatha kwakho," "ndivumele," "Ndikhathazekile").
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni isondo sakho umntwana, khumbula, ungumntu ozimeleyo kwaye unelungelo lokuhlala. Nika umntwana ukuba aphile ubomi bakhe, enze izigqibo kwaye azive ekhulile. Oku akuthethi ukuba ufanele "uvumele izinto zihambe ngokwakho" kwaye vumela unyana wakho okanye intombi ukuba enze nantoni na. Zibahlonele kwaye zifundise izinto ezilungileyo, kungekhona ngeemfundiso zokuziphatha, kodwa ngomzekelo ngamnye. Ukuba uvumelene nento, gcina igama lakho. Awukwazi ukunqanda into oye wavuma ngalo izolo, ngenxa yokuba ukhathele okanye ngaphandle kweentlobo.
Vumela umntwana ukuba acwangcise ubomi bakhe, musa ukumisela umsebenzi wakhe, ukuzonwabisa, indlela yokuphila. Yiba nomdla kumntwana wakho, sichitha ixesha kunye naye, fumana umdlalo oqhelekileyo okanye ukuzizonwabisa. Vumela unyana wakho akuncede ukhethe ubuchule, uze uyivumele intombi yakho ikuxelele ngentlobo yentsholongwane yolutsha - abatsha abanqwenela "ukufundisa", kubanceda bazive benetembelo ngakumbi. Tshela abantwana malunga nobuntwaneni bakho kunye nendlela owawuselula ngayo. Funda ukuphulaphula nokuva, kuba oko ucinga ukuba yinto engumngcipheko, emehlweni kwintsholongwane ingaba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu. Zama ukuthetha nomntwana ongekho umntwana, kodwa njengomntu omdala olingana naye. Ezi ngcebiso ezilula ziyakunceda uhlale ulwalamano oluqhelekileyo kwintsapho kwaye uya kuphepha iingxaki ezininzi.