Uthando luvakalelo olusishukumisayo kwaye lukhuphuke. Xa sithandayo, siyatshintsha. Imvakalelo emitsha kunye nezinto ezibalulekileyo zokuphila. Kodwa kaninzi kangakanani ukufumana ukuthunjwa kweentsikelelo zethu, ukulahlekelwa yinto yethu kwaye sihlutywa ngumntu ongenalo uthando.
I-Psychotherapists evela eCalifornia yenza umzekelo phakathi kothando oluqinileyo, okwaba ngumlutha obuhlungu obuyingozi kwiziyobisi. Kwaye kunye nokunye ukuphulwa kubangela ukutshabalalisa. Njengabantu abaxhomekeke kumlutha, abafazi besithandweni "bahlala phantsi" ekubandezelekeni nasekuhluphekeni.
Ngaba sivame kangakanani ukuva amagama athi: "Ndikulungele nantoni na!", Kodwa sikhohlwa ukucinga, kodwa ngaba siyayifuna? Ngokuqinisekileyo, abafazi babedelela imisebenzi yabo, ababeka ubomi babo ezinyaweni zomyeni wakhe, owaba ngumculo wabo kwaye bahlala ubomi obonwabileyo emva kwabatshatileyo-bafanelwe inhlonipho. Kodwa kuphela xa bavuya xa umyeni ethatha ngothando kwaye uyabulela loo mnikelo. Kodwa ngaba kuyimfuneko ukuba ube yinceku yothando kumntu ongafanelanga lo mthando, othanda kuphela ubukhoboka bakho, onokukuhlekisa kwaye akakhuseli iimvakalelo zakho?
Le meko iyazi: le nsizwa ihlala ilala kwindawo ethile, ayiphenduli iifowuni kwaye ayizibizi. Ukukhupha ixesha elikhulu leenombolo zakhe, uya kukhangela umntu omthandayo. Ukulungele ukuya kuyo nayiphi na into ebaluleke ukuba wayekho. Isikhumbuzo sakho sichaza imifanekiso embi kunye nokukrokra into ethile eyenzeka kuye. Hamba ngeenxa zonke apho wayekuthanda ukutyelela kwaye umfumane kwelinye lemijongo kunye nabahlobo (kakuhle, ukuba ngabahlobo!) Ukusela utywala. Uphilileyo kwaye ungonakali. Ukuziqalekisa kunye nothando lwakho, ukubetha ekhaya ngokuqiniseka ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba awusoze uzihlazisa kwaye ugijime umntu ongenakukufuna. Kodwa yonke into iyaphinda kwakhona. Uye waba yinceku yothando lwakho.
Ngamanye amaxesha uthando olungapheliyo luhlala iminyaka, luzisa intlungu kunye nosizi. Kule meko, kuyimfuneko ukuqokelela onke amandla okuthanda ukuya kwintonga kwaye uthi kuwe "Yeka."
Ungathini ukuba ube yinceku yothando?
Ukuba uthando luthwala kuphela iintlungu, kufuneka umntu alondolozwe kuwo. Iyakwazi ukutshabalalisa njengomntu kwaye iholele ekuhlaleni. Ukuze ulahlekelwe kuyo kufuneka uzithande.
Ukuze uzincede, sebenzisa ezinye iingcebiso ezivela kwizengqondo zengqondo:
- Uxinzelelo. Indlela yokwahlula iye yaziwa ngexesha elide kwaye iyasebenza kakhulu. Xa uqala ukuphawula abanye, abantu abaselula abazungezile, uya kusuka kwindawo efile. Oku kuya kuba yinyathelo lokuqala lokunyanga. Kodwa ukuba ulwalamano lwakho luphelile kakhulu kangangokuba awufuni ukucinga ngamadoda ngokusemgangathweni, sebenzisa enye into njengombumba. Ingaba yinto entsha yokuzilibazisa, ukufunda, umsebenzi, nantoni na, into ephambili kukuba umsebenzi uphakamisa yonke ingcinga malunga nentanda.
- Debunking of myths. Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba abantu abangaboniyo bathanda kangakanani. Zama ukubona ngokucacileyo kwaye uza kubona ukuba zininzi iimpazamo zifihle ukhetho lwakho. Yilahla kwi-footestal kwaye uqaphele ukuba ayikufanelekanga lolo hlobo lugonyamelo olunobundlobongela. Ungabi khoboka lokuthanda umntu ongenakufanelekanga.
- Zithande. Usuke uphumelele ekuthandeni ngothando kunye nokuqwalaselwa kwesiqingatha sakho sesibini ixesha elide ukuba ubalekele ngawe kwaye
sabo isidima. Khawujonge ngokwakho, uhlakaniphile, ulungile, unomusa, njl njl., Ufumene ntoni kulo mntu ongenakuqonda? Ngokucacileyo awulandeli umendo wakhe.
Uthando oluguqula umntu ukuba lube khoboka luyabulala. Akakwazi ukuzisa into enhle ebomini bakho. Kwaye xa uvalelwe entolongweni, kunzima ngakumbi ukuphuma. Kukho nawuphi na, kukuya kuwe ukugqiba ukuba ngaba ufuna ukuba yinceku yothando. Yayazi nje ukuba unyango "lwakho lomlingo" luya kwenzeka kuphela xa uqonda ukuba uyagula kwaye ufuna ukulahla lo mthando.