Akakwazi ukuqonda nangayiphi na indlela, kutheni enokuzenza-njengokuba yintsapho, endaweni yokubhalisa ngokusemthethweni ubudlelwane babo? Kubonakala kuye ukuba banentsapho, kwaye akukho mfuneko yokwenza enye into, kuba sele sele ihlangene. Kwaye intombazana icinga malunga nendlela yokutshata naye, indlela yokwenza le ndoda yenze ntoni, ekugqibeleni, inikeze ize ibonise indandatho?
Inyathelo lokuqala: Khangela
Amadoda awona mzingeli, kwaye amaxhoba abo ngabasetyhini. Nawe ungubani: i-trophy elandelayo kwiinkqutyana zokunqoba okanye enye yekwenkwenkwe yakhe, oya kumvumela ukuba atshade naye-kubaluleke kangakanani ukuba siyazi! Emva koko, amantombazana alulaka ngokukhawuleza kwintliziyo yomntu! Ngoko zibuze imibuzo engu-7 uze ufumanise-kufanelekile ukutshata le ndoda kuwe - ngaphambi kokugqitywa kwentloko yakho ngokubanjwa kwintanethi yakhe:
- Ukuthatha inombolo yefowuni yakho, akazange abuyisele ngosuku olulandelayo okanye abizwe ngokukhawuleza?
- Ngaba sele ephuzile xa ehlangana nawe, okanye ihlala ifike ngexesha?
- Ngaba uvumelekile amahlaya amancinci, unomdla kuphela kwisini kunye nawe, okanye ufuna ukuqonda iiminqweno kunye neemfuno zakho, iimpawu zakho kunye neenjongo zakho?
- Ngaba iimfuno zakho ziyayihoywa okanye ulungele ukuthobela, ukuba oku kubalulekile kuwe?
- Ngaba uyazifihla kwiintsapho zakho, abahlobo, oogxa okanye owethule kwiintsapho zakho?
- Unqabe ukuya kwinkampani yakho okanye kubazali bakho okanye uyavuma ukudibana nabo?
- Ingaba ucinga ngokuthetha ngabantwana ngaphambi kwexesha okanye ukucinga ngokucokisekileyo malunga neentsapho ezizayo?
Ukuba ukhethiweyo wakho uyanyamekela kwaye uyayinyamekela, uyakuhlonipha kwaye uyayiqwalasela ngeemfuno zakho, uhamba kunye nawe kwiintlanganiso ezingaqhelekanga kunye nemibhiyozo yentsapho kwaye awufihleli ubudlelwane bakho - kufuneka wenze imizamo yokutshata lo mntu ngokwakhe, njengoko ekuxabisa kwaye engafuni ukulahlekelwa nguwe .
Inyathelo lesibini: Ukucacisa imeko
Abaninzi abafazi abanako ukuqonda nangayiphi na indlela: kutheni kufuneka balinde ixesha elide, kutheni kungekho nxaxheba kumntu othandekayo kwaye yena ngokwakhe kufuneka acinge ngendlela yokutshata naye? Kukho iimpendulo ezintathu kuphela kule mibuzo:
- Umntu wakho usele utshatile nomntu.
- Awuyena umfazi okhangelayo kwaye angathanda ukutshata naye.
- Awuzange umxelele ukuba ufuna imitshato kwaye akazange afune ukuba atshade nawe.
Akulula kubafazi ukuba bamkele nayiphi na yezi mpendulo. Banoyika ukuva ukuba banomdla, bayesaba ukufumana inyaniso, eya kuba yintlungu kubo, ekugqibeleni, bayagqitywa nguloyiko lokwenyulwa kwaye bahlale bodwa. Nangona kunjalo, ngenxa yesistim sobomi bobuqu obubalulekileyo kubalulekile ukwazi yonke into ejongene nolwalamano lwakho.
Yaye ukuba uyaqiniseka ukuba uyakuthanda kwaye akukho mithintelo emtshatweni - thabatha isinyathelo sesithathu sokutshata nomntu oyintanda, kuba yena ngokwakhe akanakwenzeka ukuba angalindelanga.
Inyathelo lesithathu: Imfuneko
Bonke abantu bayazi: umtshato kunye nosapho - oku kuxinzelelo. Kwaye bayazi ukuba ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva kuya kwenzeka kubo. Kodwa ngenxa yabo baninzi abakwaziyo ukukhawuleza, ingakumbi ukuba umfazi wabo othandekayo uthe cwaka kwaye akathethi nto ngomtshato. Ngako oko, kufuneka wenze isigqibo sokuba ufuna ntoni - ukubona emva komthandi okanye umyeni; uyitshatile wena, ngokuba ulindele inyulo evela kuwe, okanye ulindele ukuba enze isigqibo kwaye azenzele ngokwakhe? Yaye uza kuhlala ixesha elingakanani? Unyaka, ezimbini okanye mhlawumbi ezilishumi? Ngakumbi? Akukuhle ukuxelela umntu wakho:
"Ndiyakuthanda kakhulu, wena kunye nam senza kakuhle, ukuba andizange ndiphuphe ngento. Kwaye ngoku ndifuna ukutshata nawe. Ndifuna ukuba ucinge ngalo kwaye usethe usuku lomtshato wethu. Kuze sitshatile, andinakuziva ndonwabile ngokwenene. "
Uthando luqine ngaphezu koyika
Kakade, akulula ukwenza isigqibo malunga ncoko yokuqala, kuba intombazana ayifanele ixelele amadoda ukuba bafuna ukutshata nabo. Kodwa ngaba kulula ukuhlala nendoda, ukuzala abantwana bakhe, kwaye uhlale wedwa, kuba wayengenalo injongo yokudala intsapho? Kutheni uchithe iminyaka kwizinto ezingahambisani nawe? Kungcono ukufuna ngoku ukuba enze njengendoda kwaye umxelele ukuba uyamtshata okanye umvumele ukuba ahambe, kuba akayithandi kwaye akahambisani nawe.
Ungesabi ukulahlekelwa yiyo. Ukuba uyayenqaba - oku akusiyo indoda yakho. Ukuba uyakuthanda ngokwenene, uya kuncibilikisa kuwe.