Ukuba oku kukuthuthuzelayo, siya kuphinda sithethe kwakhona. Ngokweengcali, akunakwenzeka ukucinga umtshato ngaphandle kwempikiswano - kwaye ngenxa yoko, ngaphandle kwengxaki yobudlelwane beentsapho. Nazi izinto zezengqondo zithetha ngomtshato: "Umtshato ufana nomzimba ophilayo: ukhula, uthuthuke, utshintshe, utshintshe, xa usuphilile, xa ugula. Nangona kunjalo, oko kubalulekile ukuyiqonda oku kulandelayo. Isakhiwo somtshato sitshintsha ngokuchanekileyo kuba ngaphezu kweminyaka, amalungu alo amabini ashintsha. "
Nantsi impawu ezithandathu zeengxaki zobudlelwane bosapho zibukeka ngathi:
- iingxabano zakho ziba rhoqo;
- oonxibelelwano bakho bezesondo baye bahamba ngokubanzi-xa kuthelekiswa nexesha elidlulileyo;
- wena kunye neqabane lakho hlalani cwaka phambi kweTV yeeyure;
- uqala ukuba nomdla kwabanye abantu abanomdla;
- Uhlala uhlaselwa kumlingane wakho kwaye ulungele naliphi na umzuzu ukuqala ukuxabana naye;
- uzama ukuphuma endlwini ngokungangoko kunokwenzeka.
4 Inkathazo yolwalamano lwentsapho
Ngokutsho kweengcali, isibini ngasinye esitshatileyo kulindeleke ukuba sijamelane neengxaki ezine ezinzulu kwiintlalontle zabo. Si ba dwelisa:
- Inkathazo yokuqala iwela kwiintsapho zentsapho emva komnyaka wokuqala womtshato. Nangona isibini esitshatileyo ngeli xesha libonakaliswa ngethemba elininzi, lingahlala liphila kwiinkathazo ngenxa yokudumala, okuza kuvela emva kokuqala kokuhlalisana.
- Inkathazo yesibini ibonakala kwiintsapho emva ko-2 okanye iminyaka emithathu yomtshato. Ukuba sicinga ukuba emva komnyaka wokuqala womtshato, umnqweno uqala ukuphela, isibini esitshatileyo sijamelene nobuso ngokuqhelekileyo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngeli xesha le nto ibhinqa lingaqala ukungathandabuzeki ukuba umntu okhethiweyo udibana naye, nokuba unako ukwenza umonwabe.
- Inkathazo yesithathu yobudlelwane bosapho inxulumene nokuzalwa komntwana wokuqala. Ngokukhawuleza, endaweni yesibini, intsapho iya kuba ngabantu abathathu. Kwaye nangona umfazi nomyeni bezama indima yomama noyise, ngokulandelanayo (leyo ngokwayo ingumngeni omkhulu kubo bobabini), ukuhlukana kwenzeni ngokufanelekileyo kubudlelwane babo. Enyanisweni, ingxaki yesithathu inokuchaphazela ubudlelwane bentsapho phambi kohlobo oludlulileyo ukuba isibini siqala ubomi babo bomtshato ngexesha lokukhulelwa sele likhona.
- Inkathazo yesine ivela kwiintlalontle zentsapho kamva, xa iindima phakathi kwabatshatileyo zide zahlukana, kwaye zidibanisa ngakumbi kunye neengxaki zobunikazi bomntu ngamnye okanye bobabini bomtshato. Ukuba ngaphambili kwakukholelwa ukuba le nkathazo yobudlelwane bosapho iyenzeka emva kweminyaka engama-7 yomtshato, ngoko iingcali zanamhlanje ziqinisekile ukuba inkxalabo enkulu kakhulu yeentlalontle zentsapho ibonakala kwiminyaka eyi-10 kunye neenyanga ezili-11 zomtshato.
Ungayinqoba njani ingxaki yobudlelwane bosapho?
Umbuzo wokuqala omele uziphendule ngokucacileyo: ngaba ufuna ngokwenene ukugcina umtshato wakho? Ukuba kunjalo, khangela ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna okufanayo. Bobabini kufuneka nibe nomnqweno wokujamelana neengxaki eziye zafika emtshatweni wenu, ngaphandle koko awuyi kukwazi ukugcina ubudlelwane beentsapho.
Kuzo naziphi na iziqabane, akuyi kuba kuhle ukuhlala utshatile kuphela ngenxa yokuba imeko efanelwe wonke umntu.
Ngokuqhelekileyo i-psychology yale nkathazo yinto yokuba ubudlelwane babo beentsapho bavame ukudibanisa uphawu kunye neengxaki ezizalayo. Ngokwezibalo, isisombululo esivame kakhulu sokuqhawula umtshato singokungathembeki komnye wabatshatileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ukubonakala komntu wesithathu, njengomthetho, kuhlala kukho umphumo. Kwaye umphumo wukuthi ubunzima phakathi kobudlelwane bakho bosapho sele bukho ixesha elide - nje ngenxa yezizathu ezingazange zinyamekele iimpawu zayo. Ngoko-ke okokuqala-hlukanisa zonke iimpawu ezivela kwingxaki ngokwayo!
Ngoko, unokukunceda njani umtshato wakho ukuba ingxaki ebantwaneni bakho sele isifikile?
- Thetha nomlingane wakho malunga neemeko eziye zaphuhliswa phakathi kwakho. Abasetyhini abaninzi bakhetha i-ostrich zezopolitiko, benethemba lokuba ubunzima kwiintlalontle zabo zentsapho baya kudlula ngokwabo, ukuba bahlala bathule-bazenzela ukuba akukho nto eyoyiyo eyenzekayo endlwini yabo. Le mpazamo! Ukuthula akugcini nje ukuqhubezela zonke iingxaki ekujuleni, kodwa kwandisa inani labo.
- Nciphise ibha yeemfuno zakho. Ngaphambi kwakho - umntu ophilileyo, ongeyena umntu onenkwenkwezi eneenkwenkwezi. Ukuba akafuni ukunikela ingqalelo kwiimfuno zakho okanye izicelo zakho, oku kuyinto enye. Kodwa ukuba akakwazi ukuzalisekisa - yinto enye. Ukuba awufuni ukwandisa ubunzima beentlalontle zentsapho yakho, musa ukunyanzela umyeni wakho ukuba ahlale eqikelela ukuhluleka kwakho.
- Ukukhulula komnye nomnye. Iingcali zengqondo zithi ukuba nabantu abanothando kakhulu kufuneka bachithe inyanga inyanga kunye ngonyaka. Wena, mhlawumbi, kwakufuneka uve ngeembhangqwana ezitshatileyo ezihlala zodwa enye iintsuku ezimbini okanye ngeveki. Buza, ngaba bayazi nokuba yintoni inkathazo yobudlelwane bosapho?
- Jonga uncedo lwengqondo. Kwiimeko ezinzima kwiintlalontle zentsapho, icebiso lomntu ongathandekiyo ekhangele le meko ngaphandle angabaluleka.
Indlela yokuqhubeka, ukuba unqobe ubunzima beentlalontle zentsapho awuphumelelanga? Okokuqala, qiniseka ukuba ulwela ukugcina intsapho ixesha elaneleyo - oko, ubuncinane ubuncinane ezintandathu. Ukuba, naphezu kwayo yonke into, awuboni naluphi uphuculo lwakho lwentsebenziswano, zibuze - ngokunjalo! - Umbuzo wesibini, okuthi: ngaba ufanelekile kuwe indoda oyithethile njengomyeni wakho? Zama ukungabi njengabo bafazi ababona umtshato njengoluhlu olunzima. Cinga ngento yokuba ukuqhawula umtshato ngokuqhelekileyo akupheli ngokudabukisayo, kodwa kunesiqalo esihle kakhulu.