Ingqondo yezobudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nomfazi yinkxala enkulu, ifundwe ngabafundi beengqondo zelizwe ezahlukeneyo kwihlabathi. Kodwa, akukho namnye kubo ongayi kunika iresiphi yendalo yonke, indlela yokuseka ubudlelwane nomntu. Into kuphela ongayithetha ngokuqinisekileyo kukuba kulula kakhulu ukugcina ubuhlobo obuhle nomyeni wakho kunokuba uzame ukubuyisela oko kwalahleka. Cinga ngeemeko eziqhelekileyo apho nawuphi na umfazi onokujamelana nazo.
- Indlela yokubuyisela ubuhlobo obusondeleyo nomyeni wakhe emva kokubeleka. Ubomi bobulili bomtshato bubaluleke kakhulu ebomini bentsapho, edlala indima enkulu ebusini. Ngenxa yeziganeko zesimo somfazi, ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo kunye nokukhulelwa, ubudlelwane bezesondo buya kwimvelaphi. Ngokuxhomekeke kwindlela ngokukhawuleza ukuba umfazi abuyele ekuzalweni komntwana, ixesha elingenalo isondo luvela kwiinyanga ezi-2 ukuya kwezi-8. Unokuqalisa kwakhona ubudlelwane bezesondo kunye nomyeni wakho ngokukhawuleza xa ibhinqa liziva lilungele. Ukulibazisa le mzuzu akufanelekanga, ekubeni ixesha elide lokuziyeka nokubonakala komntu omtsha kwintsapho kunokuchaphazela kakubi ubudlelwane kunye neqabane. Kuphela ngokuphila ngokugcwele ngokwesondo, indoda ayiyi kuziva ingenangqondo, kwaye ayiyi kuba neengxaki zokunqongophala komfazi.
- Indlela yokugcina ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe. Lo mbuzo uphendulwa ngabasetyhini kwimeko xa kubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe kukho ukubandisa kunye nokwahlukana. Iingcali zengqondo zithi kwiminyaka emi-5-7 emva komtshato, ixesha eliqhelekileyo lomtshato omnye nomnye, iimvakalelo zangaphambili kunye nesithando, ziyafakwa endaweni entsha yobudlelwane. Ukuba kumyeni nomfazi kwiminyaka yobomi obudibeneyo kwakunokwenzeka ukuseka ithemba kunye nentlonelo, eli nqanaba elilandelayo lobomi bentsapho liyakwazi ukuphucula kuphela oko. Ngaphandle koko, ukuxabana, izikhalazo kunye nezikhalazo aziqhelekanga. Ukuze ugcine ulwalamano nomyeni wakhe, kwindawo yokuqala, kufuneka uhlawule ingqalelo enkulu kumlingane nomtshato. Emva koko, kufuneka uqale isithethe - ngolunye usuku ngeveki ukuchitha kunye nomyeni wakhe ngendlela abayifunayo. Londoloza ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe basize izicwangciso ezihlangeneyo, iingcinga kunye neengxoxo zabo. Cwangcisa ukuphumla okuhlangeneyo kunye nezoshishino, ukubonwa kwesabelo kunye nezenzo, rhoqo ulala ngesondo, kwaye ubudlelwane abuyi kugcinwa kuphela, kodwa luqinisa ngakumbi.
- Indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane nomyeni wangaphambili. Umntu owayesakuba ngumyeni, nangona ehlala esedlulileyo, uyaqhubeka engabonakali ebomini bhinqa, ingakumbi ukuba banabantwana abaqhelekileyo. Ukuchonga iindlela zokuziphatha kunye nobudlelwane nomyeni owayengumyeni kunokwenzeka kuphela kumfazi, ngokuxhomekeke kubuhlobo ababenokutshatyalaliswa nabo ngaphambili. Kwimeko nayiphi na imeko, kufuneka ukhethe indawo enokuthula neyiyobuhlungu, eyakukuvumela ukuba uxoxe nomyeni wangaphambili njengoko kuyimfuneko kwaye ungabangeli izikhalazo ezidlulileyo. Ekubeni ulwalamano lomyeni kunye nomfazi ongaphaya komfazi ligcinwa luthandane kunqabile, umntu kufuneka ahlale emgama othile.
- Ubudlelwane kunye nabantwana bomyeni wakhe. Abantwana bomyeni badlala indima ebalulekileyo ebomini bakhe. Ngoko ke, ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nabantwana bendoda ngumqinisekiso wobudlelwane obuqili phakathi kwabatshatileyo. Ngaphambi kokuvuma isibonelelo sokutshata, umfazi kufuneka aqikelele ubunzima kunye nokuqhawula kwaye ubone ukuba ulungele ukuthatha abantwana bendoda yakhe.
Kungenxa yokuba kwinkqubo yobomi bentsapho kuya kukhawuleza ukugqiba lo mbuzo. Kwiintsebenziswano kunye nabantwana (ngakumbi ukuba abantwana bomyeni bakhe baselula), kuyimfuneko ukuba bakwazi ukugcina umgama kwaye bangagqithwanga. Abantwana kufuneka banikezwe ithuba lokuba bathatyathele kancane kwizinto ezintsha baze bamkele umfazi omtsha kabawo.
Ulwalamano olubi nomyeni wakhe akusiyo isizathu sokuqhawula umtshato, kodwa sizathu sokuba nemvakalelo. Njengobomi bentsapho obonwabileyo akunakwenzeka ngaphandle kwenkxaso kunye nokholo lomlingane. Ekubeni ukubuyela kobudlelwane nomyeni wakhe kunokuba nzima kakhulu, ngamnye umfazi kufuneka athatyathele ukuba endlwini yakhe ihlala ihlala emoyeni onothando nobumnandi.