Kwintlalo yanamhlanje, kukho umonakalo ombi, xa ulutsha lukhunjulwa kuphela xa lufika kwiimpazamo, ulwaphulo-mthetho kunye nokulutha kweziyobisi. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abeendaba kunye nootitshala bakhetha ukuthetha ngeengxaki ekujonganeni nabantwana abaselula, ngokuqhelekileyo bengayinaki into ebalulekileyo njengokwakhiwa komntu wobutsha kunye noncedo olufunayo ngeli xesha. Ukuze kuphelelwe lo mkhuba, kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba ziphi iingxaki zobutsha kunye nokujonga iindlela zokuzisombulula.
Iingxaki zabantwana abaselula
Kubomi bomntwana ngamnye kuza ixesha xa eqala ukuzibuza umbuzo: "Ndingubani na? Ndifuna ntoni ebomini? Ndifuna ukuthini? ". Imibuzo ikhula ekuqhubekeni kwejometri, kwaye ebomini kufika ixesha lokufuna iimpendulo. Ngethuba elifutshane-ukusuka kuminyaka eyi-11 ukuya kwe-16 ubudala umntwana wenza inyathelo elikhulu ekuphuhliseni aze abe ngumntwana oselula. Ngeli xesha, iinguqu zekhadini aziguquleli nje kuphela ingqondo yomntwana osemtsha, kodwa kunye nesimo sakhe se-hormonal nesimo somzimba. Umntwana osemtsha uyabuthathaka kwaye engenakho inkxaso eyaneleyo ayikwazi ukujamelana nokubunjwa kobuntu bakhe. Ixesha leengxabano zangaphakathi ngokwabo liqala, i-satellites eguqukayo rhoqo, ukukhangela abahlobo abatsha kunye nezinto zokuzilibazisa, kunye nokubonakala kobudlova. Ngeli xesha, iingxaki zabaselula kunye nabazali ziqala. Isizathu salokhu kungqubuzana kwangaphakathi komntwana:
- intombazana iyazijonga njengomntu omdala, nangona ehlala esengumntwana ngamandla akhe okwenene. Ukuphikisana okukhulu apha kusemthethweni: "Ndingumdala, ngoko andithembeli abanye abantu abadala";
- Umntwana uvikela ilungelo lakhe kwendima yobuntu obuyingqayizivele kunye nobuntu, kwaye ngokukhawuleza uzama "ukuba njengomntu wonke";
- Umntwana okhulayo unxanela ukuba ngowalo okanye leqela lentlalontle kwaye lilungu layo elipheleleyo. Nangona kunjalo, amaqela asetsheni - awona macala kunye nabaqalayo apho awanakufumana. Ngenxa yoko i-lonicity of adolescence iqala ukuphuhlisa kunye nobunzima ekuxoxaneni noontanga kunye noluntu oluhlala kuyo.
Kule mpikiswano, zonke iingxaki eziphambili zentsha zikhula: iintsapho, isondo kunye neengxaki zokuziphatha. Ukuqonda indlela onokukunceda ngayo umntwana wakho ukujamelana nabo, qwalasela iingxaki eziqhelekileyo.
Eyona ingxaki yabantwana abaselula
Uninzi lwabazali kaninzi abaqageli ukuba zeziphi iingxaki kubaselula, kuba abantwana babo bakhetha ukuthula ngobunzima babo kwaye bangathembeli iingcamango ezifihliweyo nokuvala abantu. Ngenxa yoko iingxaki zolutsha eziselula ziqala. Ubunzima bokunxibelelana budla ngokugqithiswa kukuba abazali abaqondi ukuba umntwana uye wakhula kwaye unxibelelwano naye akufanele kube kwizinga xa wayeselula. Uninzi lweengxaki ziphakama ngokuthe ngqo ngenxa yobudala bexesha. Abazali bayakhohlwa ukuba babekade befana nabaselula, kwaye iingxaki zokukhula kwabo abantwana azibonakali zinzima kubo. Abantwana basabela ngendlela enqabileyo, bayeka ukuhlonela abazali babo, bekholelwa ukuba bangemva kwezihlandlo kunye nokuthanda kwabo kudala. Ngenxa yoko, intlonipho kunye nokuqonda okufanayo kuyalahleka. Enye intloko yabazali yiingxaki zokuziphatha kwentsha. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana basebusuku bakhetha ukuziphatha okuyimfuneko kwiimeko eziyimfuneko. Baya kuhlala entanyeni yabazali babo, okanye bathathe kwiibhononethi yonke igama labantu abadala. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwimiba yokuziphatha okunjalo ibonakala njengomqondiso wokuqhankqalaza kunye nomngeni kuluntu. Kuba "i-antics" enjalo intsha isoloko ineenjongo ezine:
1. Ukuzama ukuphepha ukuhluleka, ngcamango "andinako." Kukho izizathu ezibini:
- elindele umntwana ukuba ahlole izenzo zakhe (uzama ukuphephelela loo matyala apho uya kubonakala engaphumeleli okanye afumane uqikelelo oluphantsi kubo);
- Isiphakamiso sabazali "sithanda kuphela abo bantwana bafunda kakuhle (ngoko umntwana wenza kuphela loo misebenzi ayakwazi ukuyenza ngokufanelekileyo).
2. Ukuzama ukuphindezela. Olu luhlobo olubi kakhulu lokuziphatha. Ukuziphindezela kwentombazana ayinayo ifomenti enamandla, kodwa umnqweno wokuphindiselela phantse njalo uphendule intlungu ebangelwa kanye. Kule meko, umntwana angaphendula njengemizuzwana emva kokuba ukuxhatshazwa kubangelwa, kunye neminyaka emininzi emva kwayo. Kubuyiselwa kwindlela yokuhlaselwa kwengqondo nangokwenyama: umntwana ngandlela-thile uyalimaza abazali okanye abanye abaphulaphuli, bengayinaki nayiphi na imizamo yabo yokuxolelana.
3. Ukubonakaliswa kwamandla omntu. Ibonakalisa ngokukrakra ngomlomo komntwana ojika kuba ngquzulwano, okanye ekuthobeleni okutholileyo. Umntwana uthembisa ukwenza oko akuceliwe, kwaye uyaqhubeka nokwenza ishishini lakhe. Ukuziphatha okunokubangela ukuba abazali bavumelane nomsindo, kwaye umntwana uthele ioli ngomlilo ngamagama: "Awukwazi ukwenza nantoni na kum," okanye ubalekela ekhaya. Isizathu esibalulekileyo apha naso umnqweno weselula ukuba alinganise amalungelo akhe nabantu abadala.
4. Ukukhangela umdla. Ngokuvame ukubonakaliswa kwimizamo yomntwana yokuphazamisa abazali kwimicimbi yabo, kunye nokukhwabanisa nokusetyenziswa kakubi. Isizathu silele kwinto yokuba intombazana iyaqonda kakuhle ukuba ingqalelo ehlawulwa kubantwana "ababi", kwaye ngenxa yale ngqalelo ifakwa kuyo yonke into ebalulekileyo.
Iingxaki zesondo zobutsha
Kwinqanaba elilodwa kukho iingxaki zesini zesantya. Ixesha lesishumi elivisayo lixesha lokungqinelana kwengqondo kuphela, kodwa kunye nokukhula komzimba. Iintsholongwane zibona ubulili njengoluhlobo lovavanyo, kaninzi luphuma kwinqwenela. Abantu abaselula bavuthwa ngokubambisana kakhulu kunamantombazana, apho i-intetho ebalulekileyo yenzalo yesondo ixesha elide i-coquetry kunye neentloni. Nangona kunjalo, abamele bobabini besini banomdla ngokufanayo kulwalamano, kubandakanywa ngesondo. Kwaye apha umsebenzi owona mkhulu wabazali kukuziva ulungelelaniso phakathi komnqweno womntwana wokuthandana kunye nekhono elibangelwa ukukhangwa ngesondo.
Iingxaki ebomini kwintsha-mntwana ayinakupheka. Kwaye kuphela emandleni akho, bazali abathandekayo, ukuququzelela uphando lomntwana kwaye uncede ukunqoba ezi ngxaki. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntwana uziphatha njani, ngaphambi kokuba amjezise, yima endaweni yakhe kwaye uzame ukuqonda ukuba kunzima kangakanani kuye ngeli xesha. Musa ukukhawuleza, kodwa umntwana uya kukuxabisa inkxaso yakho kwaye uya kukubulela ubomi bakho bonke.