Ininzi yamantombazana ikholelwa ukuba kuyimfuneko ukutshata ngenxa yothando, kwaye uphume, kwaye abaninzi banako ukuphefumula ngomphefumlo wabo. Kodwa kwenzeka nokuba emva kwexesha elithile emva komtshato, iqabane liphendukela kungekhona "inkosana" awayeliphuphayo, kwaye yathandalala yindawo ethile. Yaye ukuba njani - uhlala nomntu ongathandwa okanye uyingxenye nomyeni wakhe?
Ngaba kuyafaneleka ukuba uhlale nomntu ongathandekiyo?
Abanye besetyhini banokuthi, "Ndihlala kunye nabangathandekiyo kwaye andiyikuboni nayiphi na ingxaki kule nto," kodwa ininzi imeko enjalo ibonakala yintlekele. Kwaye ziya kuqondwa, kungekhona wonke umntu unako ukufumana uvuyo ngomtshato ongathandwayo. Nangona kunjalo, kubafazi abaninzi, ukuqhawula umtshato ngenxa yokungabikho kwemvakalelo akuvumelekanga, kuthathwa njengento yokugqibela. Ukuthi "umtshato, kuba andiyithandi" unokufumana kuphela umfazi ozimeleyo kunye nokuzithemba. Kwaye abaninzi abantu bayaqhubeka behlala nomyeni, bebandezeleka ngenxa yokungabikho kwemvakalelo.
Kodwa ke kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba kulungile ukuhlala kunye nabangathandekiyo kwaye xa ungayifumana indlela yokuqhawula umtshato.
Inokuqala engqondweni yimeko apho umyeni ekuthinjweni kotywala, ukuxhatshazwa kweziyobisi, ukugembula okanye ukugula kwengqondo. Ukungafuni ukwamkela uncedo kwenza yonke imizamo yomfazi onenkathalo kunye nesigulane. Ukuzibulala kwintsapho yinkxalapho enkulu kwaye kaninzi into eyenzekayo kwimeko ekufuneka iqhube ngokubanzi. Kodwa kukho iimeko xa kubonakala kungekho zizathu ezicacileyo zokushiya, kwaye lona wesifazane uyaqhubeka exhasa umtshato ngenxa yabantwana, becinga ukuba bafuna uyise. Ngokwemvelo, ubaba ongowokuzalwa ungcono kunomalume womnye umntu, kodwa kungekhona kwimeko apho kungekho mango phakathi kwabafazi. Ukuba iimpikiswano kunye nama-scandals ziqhelekile, umntwana kufuneka akhule kwintsapho engaphelelanga, ukuqhawula umtshato kuya kuba yinkxalabo yodwa, kwaye ukutshatyalaliswa kwentsapho kuyakulimaza ingqondo yakhe yonke imihla.
Kwakhona kaninzi ukuba umfazi uqhubeka ehlupheka emtshatweni, esaba ukugwetywa kubahlobo kunye nabaqhelana naye. Oku kunjalo ngokukodwa kwiidolophana ezincinci, apho kungekho mntu ukhathalele ukuhlushwa ngokomoya komfazi ongazi ukuba angaphila nendoda yakhe engathandekiyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kubo umtshato uqhathaniswa kuphela njengabalahlekileyo okanye abahambahambayo nabasetyhini, ukhetho "aluzange luhlangabezane nabalinganiswa" kunye neengxowa zendawo zingacingwa. Kule meko, unokucebisa into eyodwa kuphela - umtshato, ngenxa yokuba uhlala kuwe, kwaye ukuba uyabuya umyeni wakho, ngoko akukho mbono woluntu kufuneka ube ngumlawuli olawulayo.
Uhlala njani nendoda engathandekiyo?
Ukongeza kuzo zonke ezi ngasentla, kukho iimeko ezininzi rhoqo xa ibhinqa elonwabileyo ukuphula ulwalamano, kodwa ayikwazi ngenxa yokuxhomekeka kwimiqathango okanye ngokwemvakalelo. Kwaye ukuba ukuxhomekeka okunjalo akukwazi ukunqotshwa, kuhleli ukuba uqonde indlela yokuhlala nendoda engathandekiyo.
Ayikho imfihlelo yokuba abafazi baninzi izidalwa zomoya, kwaye uthando lunokuba nemibala eyahlukeneyo - ngenxa yenzondelelo yokuzonda. Into eyona nto kukuqonda nokuvuma, kodwa ukuba akukho nto efana nayo, kufuneka sijonge enye indlela ephuma kule meko. Isisombululo esifanelekileyo kwingxaki siya kuba ngumzamo wokunciphisa uxhulumaniso kunye nomlingane. Unokwenza oku ngeendlela ezininzi-zizinikela emsebenzini, bantwana, fumana umdlalo onomdla, zama ukuba
Kodwa ke, ukuba uhlala nothando olungathandabuzekiyo, kungcono ukuhamba, kungakhathaliseki ukuba naluphi uhlobo lokuxhomekeka. Indlela yokuphuma ingafumaneka rhoqo, njengoko bethetha - kukho amathuba anamawaka, ukuba kukho umnqweno, kwaye kukho ubuninzi bezizathu zokuba kungekho mnqweno.