Iimbambano ziyinxalenye ebalulekileyo yobomi kwanoma yimuphi umntu. Ingxaki yesisombululo esicinezelekileyo seemeko asiyinto entsha, kukho inzululwazi ekhethekileyo ejongene neengxaki zokusombulula iingxabano - i-conflictology. Yaye ingxaki yeengxabano phakathi koobawo nabantwana ibonakala idala njengehlabathi. Amawaka eminyaka edlulileyo isizukulwana esidala sikhala ngokungazinyulu, ukungabikho kwemfundo, ukungabikho koqeqesho, ukunyaniseka kunye nobukhulu bentsha. Ngaloo ndlela, umbhalo onobumba wodongwe waseBhabhiloni wangekhulu lama-30 u-BC uthi: "Ulutsha lonakalisiwe lugxininisa lomphefumlo. Abantu abaselula banobungozi kunye nokunganakwa. Isizukulwana esincinane samhlanje asiyi kukwazi ukugcina inkcubeko yethu. " Umbhalo ofanayo ufunyanwa ethuneni lenye yamaharahara aseYiputa. Ithetha ukuba ulutsha olungathobeliyo nolungenakugula alukwazi ukwandisa izenzo ezinkulu zokhokho babo, zenze izikhumbuzo ezinkulu zenkcubeko kunye nobugcisa kwaye, ngokungathandabuzeki, zibe zizizukulwana zokugqibela zabantu emhlabeni.
Ukususela ngoko, into encinci ishintshile. Ukususela ekuphakameni kwamava abo, abantu abadala babheka "i-antics yabantwana", belibale malunga nexesha xa bona ngokwabo babengabantwana nabaselula, njengoko bezama ukuhlala baze bazicinge ukuba banako ukuguqula iintaba. Kwaye kwisizukulwana ngasinye kubonakala ngathi "behlukile, abazange bavumele into enjalo" kwaye ukuba isizukulwana esincinane siqhubeka siziphatha ngendlela efanayo, ihlabathi liya kutsholwa kwidokodo kwaye libhubha. Kwaye abantu abatsha banqwenela ukucaphukisa, bacinge ngabazali babo ngokuthi "baqhayisa" kwaye bacinga (kodwa, ngethamsanqa, akatsho njalo): "Unokwenza njani unelungelo lokundifundisa?" Nentsapho kunye neengxabano ziphindaphindiwe ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ngezizukulwana ngezizukulwana zabantu. Kodwa ngaba sininzi kangakanani abazali bethu bacinga malunga nokuba sisombulula iingxaki eziphikisanayo kunye neengxabano nabantwana bethu ngokuchanekileyo? Emva koko, impembelelo yeengxabano zentsapho emntwaneni ayinakuphikiswa - umntu oqhelekileyo ukuzithoba kwigunya labazali uya kuyika ukuphikisana nokuzimela, aze ahluthe ngokuvunyelwa ukuba akhuphe njengama-egoists angenanto afanelekileyo kwiimfuno zabanye. Okwangoku, iindlela zokusombulula iingxabano nabantwana azifani kakhulu kwimigaqo jikelele yokulungisa iingxaki ezinzima. Ixesha lokuba uhlole indlela yokulungisa iingxabano ngokuchanekileyo.
Ingxabano engunaphakade yezizukulwana: ooyise nabantwana
Akukho nentsapho inokuyenza ngaphandle kwempi phakathi kwabantwana nabazali. Kwaye akukho nto iyingozi kuyo, kuba "ukulungela" iingxabano kunceda ekunciphiseni ukuxhatshazwa phakathi kwabathathi-nxaxheba, ukwenza ukuba kube lula ukufumana isisombululo sokungqinelani ngaphandle kokuphazamisa umnqweno wamalungu entsapho, kwaye ekugqibeleni, ukuqinisa ubuhlobo. Kodwa konke oku kuyinyani kuphela ngokubhekiselele kwimpikiswano echanekileyo. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, iingxabano kunye nokuxabana kuba yimbangela yezikhalazo ezifihlakeleyo, iingxaki zengqondo, kwaye kwanokubangela ukuhlukana kwintsapho.
Indlela yokulungisa ingxabano phakathi kwabantwana nabazali?
Ukuze wenze ingxabano ingenasiphelo, landela ezi ngcebiso:
- Musa ukukhangela ityala phakathi kwabanye. Isilingo sokugxeka omnye umntu kunzima kakhulu ukumelana naye, kodwa zama ukuzibamba kwaye ujonge imeko ngenye yomntu.
- Musa "ukumtyumza" umntwana kunye negunya lakho. Inyaniso yokuba udala akuthethi ukuba wonke umntu kufuneka anikezele iimfuno zakhe kukukholisa. Abantwana bangabantu abafana nabadala, kwaye kufuneka bahlonipheke.
- Yiba nomdla kubomi nangombono womntwana, xabise ukuthembela kwakhe. Into ebaluleke kakhulu kwintsapho yinto eqhelekileyo, enobudlelwane kunye nokuthembela. Kule meko, nangona umntwana ephosakeleyo, unokuza kwaye abelane ngeengxaki zakhe nabazali, kwaye angazifihla ngenxa yokwesaba okanye iintloni. Kwaye kuphela kwimeko, abazali bafumana ithuba lokunceda umntwana ngexesha, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bayamlondoloza. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kubalulekile ukwakha ubudlelwane bokuthembela kwangaphambili, kwaye kungekhona xa ukulwa okuvulekileyo sele kuqalile kwaye ngamnye umntwana uthatha ibinzana lakho "ngama-bayonethi".
- Musa ukuxuba ("Ukuba ungenzi njengoko ndithethayo, awuyi kufumana imali."
- Zama ukuziphatha ngokuzinzile okanye ukuyeka ukulungiswa kwempikiswano ngexesha apho wena kunye nomntwana uya kunqabisa, "pholisa phantsi".
- Zama ukufumana isisombululo sokwamkelwa. Imeko xa umntu eyanelisa iimfuno kunye neemfuno zakhe ngeendleko zenye into engalunganga. Ukuze ukhethe indlela efanelekileyo kakhulu yokuxazulula ingxabano, cela umntwana ngendlela ebonayo. Emva kokubhala zonke iinketho, khetha enye okanye unikele umntwana wakho inguqu yesisombululo
iingxaki.
Ukungquzulana kwabazali kunye nabantwana abadala kunokuba banamandla ngakumbi kunabantwana abatsha okanye abatsha. Emva kwakho konke, kulo mzekelo, abantwana sele bavele bakha ngoobuntu kunye nemigaqo yabo kunye neenkolelo zabo. Kodwa nangona kunjalo, zonke iindlela ezi ngasentla zihlala zichanekile kwaye ziyasebenza.
Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - khumbula ukuba isizukulwana esincinane asibhetele okanye sibi kakhulu - sichaphazelekayo. Kwaye ukuba kungenjalo kule mihluko, ukuba kwakungekho mbambano kunye neengxabano phakathi kwabantwana nabazali, bekungekho nkqubela kwaye abantu babeya kuzingela izilwanyana zasendle ezihlala emqolombeni.