Mhlawumbi, akukho mama ongenakuze aphakamise izwi lakhe kumntwana wakhe. Kwenzeka ukuba utitshala uyakhalaza abantwana, kwaye abazali abazi ukuba baphathe njani oku. Kwaye kuyinyaniso ukuba ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ngathi abantwana bethu abanakuze balawuleke ukuba ukulila kubonakala njengendlela yokugqibela kunye neyokusebenza kuphela yemfundo. Kodwa ngaba kunjalo? Okanye ngaba nje siyakhwaza ngenxa yokukhathala, okanye ekubeni sinokuziqhenqa nje ukuba sijonge indlela ephoqelekileyo kunye nokungahambisani nxamnye nomntwana? Ngokuqinisekileyo, abaninzi abazali bayazi ukuziva benetyala phambi komntwana wabo ngenxa yokuba sele bephukile kuye, "bebambe phezu kwentonga." Ngoko masibhale phantsi ukuze kungabikho zizathu zeso sivakalelo esinzima, ngaba unomemeza kubantwana?
Abantwana abanakukhwaza
Ukuba ufunda le nqaku, mhlawumbi akudingeki ukuba uchaze ukuba kutheni ungakhange umemele umntwana. Xa simemeza, silahlekelwa amandla angenawo amandla, kwaye simemeza (kunye nabo bonke abo), ufumana lo mandla. Yingakho, ngendlela, unina akafanele akhankasele nje kuphela kumntwana, kodwa naye ebusweni bakhe ukuba afunge ngendoda enetyala okanye nakwikati ye-naskodivshuyu. Ukuba umyeni wakho ukhalela umntwana, kufuneka ufumane indlela yokuyiphatha. Umntwana omncinci, efumene inxalenye yeemvakalelo eziphazamisayo, yena uhlaselwe ngumsindo, ugonyamelo kwaye akwazi nje ukuba uya kubeka phi le nto ngoku. Kwaye ngoko, ngenxa yempawu ngamnye, umntwana ngamnye ukhetha indlela yakhe:
- "Ndibuyisele . " Kule meko, abazali bayamkela ngenxa yoko-umntwana-bully, ummanga-mntwana. Ngaba kuyimfuneko ukuchaza ukuba, emva kokukhula, umntu onjalo uya kuba neengxaki zokunxibelelana.
- "Cela uncedo . " Umntwana onjalo akabonisi ubugwenxa, kodwa ubonakala ekhohlakeleyo, enobungozi, ngokuphindaphindiweyo ethatha abazali ngaphandle kwabo. Xa ekhulile, umntwana onjalo unokuba ngumququzeleli weengxabano, kuba akayi kukwazi ukuthetha nabantu ngaphandle kokuqhankqalaza, ukukrakra nokukrakra.
- "Cima ucingo . " Ukwesaba iimvakalelo eziphazamisayo, umntwana onjalo uvale ngaphakathi kuye, uqala ukuphepha ukuthetha ngokuphandle, ukukhetha kuye ukujonga iikhathuni, imidlalo yekhompyutha kunye ne-intanethi.
- "Zijezise ngokwakho . " Ukufumana ukungathobeli abazali, umntwana uqala ukucinga ukuba akafanelanga ulwalamano oluhle, uthando. Ubunzima obuphantsi kobunzima bukhula, umntwana uyakwazi ukuzilimaza.
- "Yibingelele iminqweno yabo, ukuba nje umama akazange ameme . " Ekuqalekeni - umntwana ongcono, ezama ukuthobela. Kodwa enyanisweni, umntwana onjalo akayithandi kwaye akazixabisi yena, ulungele ukunyamezela ukubonakaliswa okungathandekiyo kwabanye abantu, ukwenza konke ngendlela abanye abayifunayo. Loo mntu akahlakuli ukuzithemba, okuthintela ukuphuhliswa kobuntu, ukuzifeza.
Ihlazo kukuba kwimeko yesimo sendalo sisebenza kunye nabantwana bethu ngendlela efanayo nabazali bethu. Yaye ukuba unethamsanqa kwaye wakhulela kwindawo enokuthula kwaye uzinzile, awuyi kucinga engqondweni yakho ukuphula le ntlupheko ebomini bakho ngokumemeza okanye nakwezinye izibonakaliso zentlungu enobudlova. Mhlawumbi enye yodwa ingcinezelo enkulu. Yaye ukuba bazama ukukuchaphazela ebuntwaneni njengokumemeza, kuya kuba nzima ukuba ungasebenzisi lesi sixhobo xa kwenzeka ukungathobeli umntwana.
Kuvela ukuba ukuze bafundise abantwana babo ngokufanelekileyo, kufanelekile, okokuqala, sijongane neengxaki zabo zengqondo: izibonda, izisombululo. Yindlela ende, kodwa kufuneka uvuke kuyo kwaye, vumela ukuba uphuze, kodwa hamba. Ukuzithiba kunye nezindlela ezizezinye zokutshatyalaliswa kwemizwa kuya kunceda.
Khumbula ukuba nguwe, abazali, ababeka i-matrix yokukhulumisana kwabantwana bethu nabanye abantu. Yaye i-calmer kwaye ikhululekile ngokomoya kwengqondo kwikhaya lomzali, ubomi obonwabileyo kunye obuqaqambileyo buya kuhlala umntu omtsha.