Izinto eziphambili kunye nemikhwa yokukhuliswa kwabantwana, njengaye nezinye izinto, zithatha ukutshintsha ixesha. Ngoko, umzekelo, abazali bethu bakhuliswa ngumoya wobudlelwane, bafundisa ukuba kukubi ukuma kunye nokubonisa isithunzi sabo. Ubuninzi obuninzi bufuna ukuba yingxenye yobunzima obuqhelekileyo, "njengommi ophakathi." Ngokufanayo neenguqu zentlalo-kwezopolitiko ebomini babantu, ukuqonda ngokubaluleka kweempawu zabantu kubakho ukuza kunceda abantu baphume kwisihlwele baze bathathe ngempumelelo zabo, kungekhona okugqibela, kwindawo yokuphila. Ngoko ke, abazali abaninzi, banqwenela ukuba abantwana babo bangcono, baqala ukucinga ngendlela yokuphakamisa inkokheli kumntwana, ukuze amncede afinyelele iinjongo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, inkokheli yomntwana yenziwa yilelo ukususela ekuzalweni. Le yinkqubo enokude, enobuntswana obunceda umntwana ukuba athole umgca phakathi kweemfuno zakhe kunye neemfuno zoluntu, ukuzithemba okuphezulu kunye nemeko yeemeko, injongo, ukuzithemba nokugxeka okwaneleyo.
Inkcazo yobunkokheli
Ngaphambi kokuba ukhangele impendulo kumbuzo wendlela yokuhlakulela iimpawu zobunkokeli zomntwana, kufuneka unqume imbono yobuholi. Inkokheli ayiyena ogijima phambili, ephikisana nabadlali. Okokuqala, okokuqala, indoda ehlonipha abanye, ingabi ukoyika uxanduva olukwazi ukuthatha abanye, ukwenza ukuba bafune ukwenza, abangenakukuphumelela kuphela, kodwa balahlekelwe yimbeko, bafikelele kwizigqibo.
Iinkokeli ziba, kwaye azizalwanga, ngokuchanekileyo, abantwana bazalwa, kunye nokuthambekela kobunkokeli, kwaye ukuvela kwimiqathango yentlalo kuxhomekeke ekubeni ingafumani le ntsebenzo yophuhliso, okokuba, nokuba umntwana uya kuba yinkokheli okanye ayikho. Ngokwenzululwazi ezininzi, italente kunye nekhono eli-40% kuphela lixhomekeke kwi-genetics kunye ne-60% yemfundo. Njengoko uyazi, indlela efanelekileyo kakhulu yemfundo ngumzekelo wakho. Akunakwenzeka ukuba abazali abasemafini kwaye bangenzi nantoni na ekhonkco yokuphucula ubomi babo, bayazi indlela yokuphakamisa inkokheli. Kodwa akudingeki ukuba babe yienkokheli ngokwabo, kwanele ukuba baneempawu ezifana nokukwazi ukuphendula ngezenzo zabo, ukuhlonela abanye kunye nokukwazi ukucinga ngokucinga kwabo, umnqweno wokufumana indlela yokuphuma kuyo nayiphi na imeko.
Programming
Nenjongo yokuvelisa iimpawu zobunkokheli kumntwana wakho, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba abantwana-iinkokeli zikhula kwiintsapho apho umoya ofudumele wothando, ukuqonda kunye nokuxhaswa ngokubambisana kulawula. Qaphela ngamazwi, kuba nayiphi na ibinzana elitshoyo ekudlulayo ingafakwa kwintliziyo yomntwana ebomini ibe ngumhlobo wenkqubo.
Gwema la magama alandelayo:
- "Isiqwenga, sisisidenge
- "Rag, mash, crybaby";
- "Ndidiniwe nawe, hamba, ungakhathazeki";
- "Akukho nto inokuza kuwe";
- "Njengoko ungeyintloni, ungenangqiqo" kwaye uqhubele phambili kwimoya efanayo.
Imiba efaka isandla ekuphuhliseni inkokheli:
- "Uya kuphumelela, ndikholelwa kuwe";
- "Ulungile kakhulu, ndiyathanda into oyenzayo";
- "Ndiyakuthanda kwaye ndiyakuthanda, nangona uphumelela kwakho kunye nokungaphumeleli";
- "Unokuhlala uncike ekuqondeni kwam ncedisa" njalo njalo.
Indlela yokukhulisa umntwana njengenkokheli?
Ezinye iingcebiso ezifanelekileyo:
- ukugxininisa imikhwa yendlela efanelekileyo yokuphila kumntwana; inkokheli enempilo ingaba yinkokheli epheleleyo;
- Intle, intetho echanekileyo iyona nto ebalulekileyo ekuphumeleleni kunye nendlela yokukhanga abantu kwicala. Fundisa umntwana wakho intetho enhle;
- umntwana akudingeki ukuba abe ngumfundi obalaseleyo kuzo zonke izifundo. Kubalulekile ukukhetha indawo yomdla kwaye uphumelele kwimpumelelo yakho;
- Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba abeke iinjongo aze azifezekise. Ukugcina nayiphi na imizamo, nangona kungenakuthemba ukuba bangabonakala baze bachaze njani umntwana ukuba ahlele njani ukuphunyezwa kwawo;
- Inkokheli kufuneka ikwazi ukuphumelela kuphela, kodwa iphinde ilahleke. Musa ukumgxeka umntwana ngenxa yokungaphumeleli, ufundise bhetele ukubaphatha njengomxholo obalulekileyo obomi.