Akunakwenzeka ukuba nabani na oya kuthi isondo siyinxalenye ebalulekileyo ebomini bethu, ukuziyeka ixesha elide kunye nempilo kunokuchaphazela, kwaye asinakuvuyela. Kodwa ngaba le nto ayiyiyo ingqalelo enkulu ehlawulwe kule mpawu? Emva kwakho konke, simele sibeke imbonakalo yokuba ulonwabo lunokwenzeka kuphela xa kukho ubundlobongela obunobundlobongela, kwaye ukuba yonke into ihlazile, yinto engafanelekanga.
Ukukhulula ngocansi okanye ukuziphatha okubi?
Ukuthetha ngokukhulula kwanaluphi na uhlobo, sithetha ukuziphatha okungafaniyo kwiimeko ezahlukahlukeneyo, ezenza unxibelelwano lunandipha. Kodwa ukuba kufikelele ekukhululeni ngokwesondo, ngoko kukho ukungavumelani: umntu ucinga ukuba oku kubonakaliswa ngokugqithiseleyo kobhinqa, umntu uthi ukuziphatha okunjalo akuvumelekanga. Enyanisweni, umntu unokuthi-bangaphi abantu, iimbono ezininzi, kodwa indima ebalulekileyo kulo mbandela idlalwe yidideko yeengcinga, abaninzi banokudibanisa ukukhululwa kunye nokunyaniseka.
Inyaniso yokuba abantu abaninzi banokugweba ngokukrakra - abangakhethiyo ekukhethweni kwamaqabane ezesondo, kuthiwa ukuziphatha kakubi ngokwesini kwaye akukho nto inokuyenza ngesihloko sentetho yethu. Ewe, ukukhululwa kuye kwasizuzisa ilungelo, ngokulingana kunye namadoda, ukufumana ukwaneliswa ngokwesini, ukukhetha ngokuzimeleyo kunye nolonwabo kulona phelo lobomi ngokugcwele. Kodwa utshintsho oluqhelekileyo lwamaqabane olwabelana ngesondo alugwebi nje uluntu, lukwabangela iingxaki zempilo. Ezinye izazinzulu (iAuckland, eNew Zealand) zize ziqwalasele le ndlela yokuziphatha, kuba ayinalo izizathu zokuziphendukela kwemvelo. Ukongezelela, uphando lubonise ukuba ukudakumba kubangelwa ngabasetyhini abanobuqhetseba ngokwesondo.
Ukunyuka komzimba kwisondo akuthethi ukuchasana ngokwesini, kunokuquka ukuxhatshazwa kobudlelwane, ukungabikho kobuthixo obusondeleyo kunye nokuvuleka kwintswelo entsha. Umfazi okhululekileyo ukhetha indoda ngokwakhe, kwaye akayi kukhawuleza kumntu wokuqala odibana naye. Oku akuthethi ukuba kuwo wonke umphefumlo kufuneka kube ngumntu oyedwa kuphela, ubuninzi beentsebenziswano kunoko kubonisa ubukho bezinto ezinzima kunokuba ukhululwe ngokwesini. Ekubeni ixhaphaka ngokugqithiseleyo ukuxhatshazwa kunye nokuzithemba, umfazi onelungelo lokuzimela akudingeki ukuba azibonakalise yena kunye nabanye bakhe ngesini.
Ukukhululwa ngokwesini kubonakala njani?
Ubungqina besibhinqa nokuzimela kubonakalisa ukubonakala, kunye neendlela zokunxibelelana. Kodwa ngokugqithiseleyo ezi mpawu zibonakaliswa ngasese kunye neqabane, kwaye yintoni enye enye ekuboniseni ukukhululwa ngokwesini, kungekhona nangomntu olele embhedeni?
Kodwa yonke into ihamba, yonke into iyatshintsha, kwaye ukuba ngaphambili isondo somlomo sithathwa njengento enqatshelwe, ngoku phantse phantse yonke intokazi ibinalo. Ngoko ke umfazi okhululekileyo (okanye ngubani ofuna ukuba yinto enye) kubalulekile ukuba ungabikho kwizixhobo eziqhelekileyo zesondo, kodwa ungesabi ukuzama ezintsha. Emva koko, intsingiselo yokukhululwa akufanele ihambelane nokuziphatha okufake imfashini, kodwa ukufumana kwisini ubukhulu bumnandi ngokwabo kwaye banako ukwanelisa umlingane. Yingakho abantu belizwi elinye
Ngoko, ukukhululwa ebhedeni yindlela efanelekileyo yokuphucula ubomi bakho obusondeleyo, kutheni wonke umntu enqume ukuba aziphathe ngale ndlela? Kukho izizathu ezininzi zezi zinto, mhlawumbi kungaba ngowokuqala ulwalamano lwentsebenziswano, kunye nemoya embi kwintsapho okanye ukukhuliswa kwamaPuritan. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo iqabane alinakukwazi ukuba ngumfazi okhululiwe, akaziva ekhuselekile kunye naye, ngoko ke akanako ukuphumla. Ngoko akusoloko kusweleka kobukhulu bokuthi ufanele ukuzitshisa, mhlawumbi ecaleni kwakho akunjalo nje loo mntu?